


Noble

by shannyfish



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Adler & Benanti, Angst, DEO Lucy Lane, DEO against the world, Danvers Sisters, Director Lucy Lane, F/F, F/M, Family, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Jeremiah Danvers is alive, Midvale, Pregnancy, Project Cadmus, Sequel, super sisters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-07-27 06:58:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7608265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shannyfish/pseuds/shannyfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The hunt for Alex by Project Cadmus hits too close to home.  With an agent’s life at risk, the DEO must pick sides and J’onn J’onzz must return.  Sequel to "Worthy".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reunions

Bullets flew through the Danvers Midvale home.

 

They're prepared for this.  

 

A cry pierced the air.

 

Alex was not going to let anyone hurt her, her child, or anyone else that she loved.  A bundled child on her hip with the best ear protection they had, Alex had her weapon out and ready.  She wasn't alone, but everyone else was someplace else in the house.  Suddenly, she spotted a shooter.  Alex pressed herself against the wall for a moment, taking in a breath, pushing out the best comforting words she could think of, and then went for it.  Arm extended, her finger squeezing the trigger, and a string of bullets out the nearest window.  

 

It wasn't just her.

 

It wasn't just one shooter.  

 

It was a full on assault.

 

They'd come prepared, but they obviously didn't know who they were dealing with.  They weren't just dealing with Alex Danvers, they were dealing with agents of the DEO.  There might be few of them, but they were there and they were trained...and they were fierce.  

 

When the air grew silent, Alex heard her name shouted.

 

Sucking in a breath, she turned to see her mother at the bedroom doorway.  She blinked and looked around.  This room had been her and Kara's bedroom growing up.  There were so many memories there, like looking down at Kara from the window she'd just shot out when she'd first come to live with them.  This place that was their sanctuary...a safe harbor for memories that Alex cherished...it was all shot to hell.  

 

"Alex!" her mother exclaimed and moved to her, cupping her face.  "Are you okay?"  Before Alex could say anything, though, her mother started to unbundle Alex's hip.  "Oh, _ Sweetheart _ !" her mother breathed and took the child from Alex's hip and just hugged her.  

 

"What?" Charlie said loudly as she pulled the ear protection away from her ear.

 

"We're fine," Alex said and swung her head to see Lara and Alice standing in the doorway, looking relieved to see Charlie in Eliza's arms.  "You okay?"  They nodded.

 

"I don't think it's really safe here any longer," Benanti stated.  "Also, I think maybe...Eliza should pack a bag too and we should call someone about all the bullet holes...and broken glass...and general destruction."  Lara crossed the room and took Charlie from Eliza.  "I'm not saying we're giving up, I'm just thinking that maybe it's time to go back to National City again."

 

"Do you really think it's going to be safer for Alex there?" Eliza questioned.

 

"Hell no," Alice bluttered out.  "But the DEO will be safer…  They're going to have to go through a lot more agents to get to her."

 

"I can't just stay in the DEO forever," Alex pointed out.  Her hands moved down to her stomach.  "This baby cannot live confined within the walls of the DEO for their entire life."

 

"I still can't believe you didn't find out the gender," her mother complained.

 

Alex glared at her mother for a moment.  It had been a long nearly twenty weeks of her mother complaining about that.  "You're going to find out soon enough…"

 

"I know you were shot at when you were in the field when you weren't showing, but this is so much different, Alex…" her mother said.

 

And Alex knew that.

 

"Pack your bags and call Lucy," Alex instructed.

 

"You might also want to put in a call to your sister," Adler said.  "Also, maybe mention that you really want to see the boss…"

 

"Kara hasn't seen him--"

 

"Really?  Okay...we can pretend like it's not obvious."

 

Alex just glared after Adler as she left the room with Benanti and Charlie before turning to her mother.  "Do you know anything about Kara having contact with J'onn?"

 

"Let me help you pack a bag, Sweetie," Eliza said instead of answering the question.  

 

Rolling her eyes, Alex moved to reload her gun...just in case.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


It came slowly.

 

It was like something nagging her, almost like a dull ache, no...it was something more.  Her head spun as she tried to make sense of it as her feet hit the ground inside of the DEO parking garage.  Alex straightened and looked around, it was like her brain knew that there was something pulling her somewhere else.  Then it hit her--

 

J'onn.

 

_ J'onn? _

 

Her eyes searched for him, but then it was her mind that was calling for him.   _ J'onn?  _  It was like she knew that that was what she felt all of the sudden.  She didn't even care why she could suddenly sense him, she was just suddenly excited to see J'onn again face to face.  It had been too long.  So long.  He'd been in hiding, trying to keep her safe as himself.  

 

Then it came, quietly at first in her head.   _ Alex? _

 

When she finally saw him, she just stood there staring at him.  It was like she didn't believe it.  It had been so many months.  She'd sworn she'd seen him at the DEO before when she'd been working there with Lucy...and then there had been times when there had been glimpses thought to be seen of J'onn in Midvale…  Now, she was wondering if he'd actually been there.  

 

"J'onn," she whispered and finally moved.  Her feet didn't seem to move fast enough to cross the distance in the parking garage to get to him.  A smile spread wide across her face and she didn't know if she could feel more relief.  Their embrace was tight, well as tight as they could.  "I missed you so much…"

 

His fingers combed through her hair and he let out a heavy breath as he held her.  "I missed you."

 

When they finally separated a bit, she just stared into his eyes and she hadn't felt so much relief until she'd been able to touch him.  Irritation crossed her a moment later, though, and she smacked his shoulder.  "It's been months!" 

 

He just beamed at her reaction.  "I haven't been far."

 

"You could have come and seen me," Alex scolded lightly.  "You've seen Kara…"

 

"I didn't want to endanger you anymore than I already had…"

 

"They decided that it didn't matter if you were in Midvale or not," Alex explained.

 

"I saw the house--"

 

"It doesn't matter right now," Alex waved off.  Later, she was certain that she'd have a different opinion, but right now...it didn't matter.  "Everyone's safe...that's the only thing that  _ really  _ matters."  Her fingers trailed down his arms and she found that she'd really missed having a physical connection to him.  "I'm just not looking forward to being locked down in the DEO."

 

"You don't have to worry about them taking you...or our child," J'onn told her gently.

 

Alex realized that he was looking her over.  Even if he'd been watching her...watching them in Midvale, it had been several months since they'd been this close...since they'd touched.  The child she carried was his and there had been so much heartbreak in his past when it came to children.  She didn't want this to be heartbreaking.  Alex pulled his hands to her stomach and just allowed him to be there with her, to experience this part of the pregnancy...he'd missed so much.

 

"I heard you," he whispered.  "In my head…"

 

"I heard you too...and felt you," Alex said slowly and a bit unsure.

 

"I think it's because of this little one," J'onn said.  "I still don't understand why you don't want to know the gender…"

 

Kara.

 

Alex just smiled and shook her head.  "I didn't want to know...not without you.  I kept hoping that you'd come back--"

 

"Project Cadmus is still out there…"

 

"Oh," Alex said with a sigh.  "I know…"

 

"Ma'am!  Sir!"

 

Adler's voice brought them both out of their reunion and Alex found herself being hauled in the direction of the control room.  She blinked for a moment, not understanding what the hurry was.  "Adler, what the--"

 

"We're possibly going to be under attack," Adler explained as she pulled her along.  "I'd rather you be somewhere a little more fortified."

 

"I'll second that," she heard J'onn say as they stepped foot into the control room.

 

It had been a couple of months, but things looked just the same...and yet different.  Alex didn't know if the lighting looked different or if it were maybe just different people on shift…something was different though.  Vasquez was at the controls and Lucy was already moving towards them as they approached.  She looked pissed and confident at the same time.  "I would like you to be looked over Agent Danvers, just to be certain that everything's okay with you and the little one."

 

"I'm fine," Alex brushed off.  

 

"Yeah, it's an  _ order _ ...not a suggestion," Lucy said gently.  "But it can wait until I catch you up."  She turned and pointed towards the monitors.  "It looks like my father is working with Project Cadmus."

 

"We had an idea that he was before," Alex reminded.

 

Lucy just seemed more frustrated.  "The army working with Cadmus, though...that means that we're going to have to either comply or go rogue."  Alex just stared at Lucy, already knowing where this was going.  "We're not supposed to have to take sides…  We're supposed to operate outside of everything else...but at the same time work alongside them when needed…"

 

"We could go away from here," J'onn spoke up.

 

"Alex is going to need medical attention when that little one decides it's time to come into the world," Lucy said matter of factly.  "They're not getting in here...and they're not going to harm anyone under my protection."  In all these months, Lucy Lane had become a fierce DEO director and good friend.

 

"Ma'am, Supergirl is on her way in," Vasquez spoke up.

 

"Alert her to our current status," Lucy instructed Vasquez.  "Adler, make sure that she gets in without there being any kind of breach."

 

No one questioned Lucy's orders and complied without a second thought.  "Is there anything we can do?" Alex questioned and realized that her mother was standing off the side with Charlie Benanti at her side.  Lara was likely already doing something that needed to be done.  Even though Adler and Benanti (and Charlie) had been in Midvale with them...they hadn't been on vacation, they'd been working as a protection detail the entire time.  This was really where they all belonged though.

 

"Ma'am, we've got another player," Vasquez said as she motioned to the screen.  Suddenly the first dot on the screen took on a tiny House of El emblem, which was closing the distance quickly.  The other dot though was unknown.

 

"Jets?  Missiles?" Lucy rattled off.

 

"Negative, they appear to be about the same size as Supergirl."

 

Alex looked over to J'onn, who she realized at that moment was holding her hand.  He was the only other person that was normally out there and flying...unless it was another Kryptonian, but there would be no reason for them to be out there right now.  Alex had been keeping up with Kara and the news, she knew that it wasn't like the DEO was currently on constant odds with one.  "Cadmus," she whispered in realization a moment later.  "What if they're mind controlling--"

 

But then an image was finally captured of the flying creature.  It looked human, but it wasn't.  It was clearly a cyborg, human but also made partially of machine.  It flew through the sky just like Kara or J'onn would.  When they got a clearer picture, Alex nearly fell over and heard her mother gasp all at the same time.  

 

"Jeremiah," J'onn stated for everyone.

 

Jeremiah Danvers was alive.

 

Or at least a small part of him.

 

"No," Alex whispered as tears filled her eyes.  As far as she'd known, her father had died saving her.  He'd done things to her...in Cadmus...but in the end, he'd been her father and had gotten her to safety.  This wasn't right.  Cadmus had destroyed him a hundred times over, but not this…

 

J'onn was holding her, but it wasn't enough with what came next...as they watched in horror as the monstrous cyborg form of Jeremiah Danvers fired on Supergirl...and she fell.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  
  
  



	2. The State of Things

Alex had her arms wrapped around herself and her mother was next to her, holding her, as they watched through the transparent med bay wall as Kara was being worked on by Doctor Hernandez.  No one spoke of the fact that the creature that had shot down her sister had been what appeared to be a cyborg version of her father that she'd thought was dead at Cadmus.  Her mind spun with worry, once Kara had been shot down...she hadn't moved or opened her eyes.  Lucy had sent out half of their teams to retrieve her sister and the cyborg hadn't fired on them or caused them any harm.  Alex had wondered if he'd been sent for her, actually she was fairly certain that that was why Cadmus had sent him...and now Kara--

 

_ Your sister will be fine. _

 

The thought came to her like a voice and it took her a moment to realize that that voice belonged to J'onn.  She turned her head, sensing the direction he was standing at.  Her eyes came upon him and she wondered how he knew that.  What worried her more in that moment was that he no longer held the form of Hank Henshaw, but instead was in his true form and looked like the Martian Manhunter was ready to leave the base...and Alex knew that deep down and exactly what his objective was: to take down the cyborg.

 

_ J'onn _ , she pleaded in her head and with her eyes.  _  Don't go, not again-- _

 

_ I'll come back-- _

 

_ Alive. _

 

_ Alive. _

 

He left as quickly as he appeared and when she looked back at Kara's lifeless form, the weight hadn't lifted any.  Though Alex had never planned this pregnancy, she certainly hadn't expected it to be so stressful and filled with action at every turn as it had been.  She knew that Kara had survived a lot in her lifetime, but every time her sister actually got hurt...it scared Alex more than anything else in the world.  

 

"You should sit down, Sweetie," her mother said gently.

 

"I want to be here when Kara wakes up," Alex insisted softly.

 

"You haven't eaten in--"

 

Any possible fight was already lost.  One of the things that Alex had had to adjust to with her pregnancy was making sure that she was eating and drinking and resting enough.  Those were all things that she'd allowed her body to suffer a lack of before she'd been pregnant.  It had also been hard to step back from the DEO both times she'd done it...and just watch...knowing what terrors lie in the world beyond National City and Midvale...and beyond even the planet.  

 

"Okay," Alex gave in.  

 

The knowledge that the medical staff or someone else at the DEO would come and find them to tell them of any update really didn't give her any sense of comfort.  It only made her feel weak, even though she knew that wasn't true.  She was exhausted, hungry, thirsty, sore, headache-y, and extremely stressed.  Moving her hands to her lower back as she walked, she only felt huge when she did that.  

 

Before they could get far, they were intercepted by Benanti and Charlie.  The little girl seemed unfazed by what had happened, or maybe she was just getting used to it.  Either way, Alex felt guilt rise in her.  She was just thankful that the little girl was okay.  "Why don't I take Alex to rest and eat something?" Lara offered gently.  "Eliza, then you can sit with Kara."   
  
Alex didn't miss the torn look on her mother's face.  This impacted both of her daughters and her mother had been trying so hard to be here during the pregnancy and everything and right now...Alex needed to know that someone was with Kara.  She pulled away from her mother ever so slightly and put her hand on her mother's arm before speaking softly and calmly.  "It's okay.  Go stay with Kara…"   
  
There was still that torn look.  "Alex--"   
  
"I'll take it easy, I promise."

 

Lara was moving to intervene now.  "I'll make sure she puts her feet up and eats something--"

 

Eliza had a finger up as she was obviously being confused by this option.  "She needs to hydrate--"

 

"I'll make sure...I promise," Benanti insisted.  

 

So, she went with Benanti and Charlie.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


There was a song…

 

Alex didn't know where the song was coming from, but it was in her head.  It filled her like a warm hug.  The words were foreign to her and yet somehow still felt familiar.  It was all a blur and then it hit her suddenly...that it was J'onn there...J'onn in her head.     
  
_ J'onn _ .   
  
Her eyes opened and she sucked in a breath before looking around.  The memory of J'onn leaving to go fight the cyborg Jeremiah and then Kara being unconscious hit her hard.  Emotions swelled inside of her and she had a hard time keeping them under control, she was really done with all of the hormones not allowing her to control her own feelings.  

 

"Breathe," he whispered the prompt.

 

Alex's eyes fell on him, but she realized he had already been holding her hand before that.  His voice was gentle and soothing.  She sucked in a breath and slowly pushed it out.  "You're okay?"   
  
J'onn just smiled at her and gave her a nod.  "I went out there...and he was gone."

 

"Cadmus?"   
  
"They're still out there with General Lane."

 

"I'm putting the entire base at risk--"   
  
"Let Director Lane deal with that," he told her.   
  
"Kara--"   
  
"Your mother is still with her," J'onn filled in.  "She's not woken yet, but she's breathing and doesn't appear to be harmed.  Likely just knocked out.  It hasn't been that long.  She's going to be fine, Alex."   
  
And she wanted to believe that.

 

His finger brush hair out of her face and Alex tried not to worry, but that wasn't easy.  She pushed herself up and looked around.  She'd been with Benanti and Charlie--  "I hadn't meant to fall asleep…"

 

"Hamilton's already checked your vitals," J'onn told her.  "She was very specific that we let you rest."

 

"They  _ know _ , J'onn...they've done the math," Alex told him as the worry that she'd tried to push away caught up with her.  She was exhausted from the worry alone, for eight months she'd been worrying--

 

"You're safe here," J'onn insisted.

 

She didn't feel safe.

 

"It's not safe for Lucy or Adler or Benanti or--"   
  
"Alex--"

 

"Even if I'm safe now, I can't stay here…  This can't be my prison or home or--"

 

He pressed a kiss to her forehead and she stilled and quieted as tears fell from her eyes.  "I promise you, I will make it safe--"

 

"We can't make the world safe," Alex whispered as her eyes slid shut.  "You and I know what people are capable of more than most...and we know what Fort Rozz brought to Earth...and we know what lies beyond here…"  There didn't seem like there could be anywhere they could go on Earth where she, J'onn, and the baby would ever be safe.  Even _ if _ they did slip away...what about her family?  What about Kara?  Supergirl?  Someone could track her--  Could she  _ really _ live somewhere else and not be part of the DEO?  She didn't know if she could really do that?  

 

"Adler might have already found us somewhere away from here where we can be safe," J'onn told her.  

 

She could hear the music in her head again and knew that he was trying to soothe her, to comfort her.  Alex knew that it wasn't good for the baby for her to be stressing, but--  The entire building seemed to shake and rumble.  Alex braced herself and another came.  Squeezing her eyes shut, her hand covered her stomach and she tried wishing herself away...but it didn't work.  She tried to hold onto the thought that there might be somewhere safe out there…

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"We certain that hiding them won't work again?" Adler questioned.

 

"No, he made it clear that he knew who was here by name," Lucy informed.  

 

Things looked grim and the facility really didn't need to be pounded.  Her mother was on one side and J'onn was on the other.  Alex was fine keeping herself upright, but everyone was still so worried.  She hated being the cause of the danger, especially because it was putting so many people that she cared about in danger.  

 

"Can you get Alex out of here safely, J'onn?" Lucy questioned.

 

"What about the cyborg? Adler put out there.  "It might not have harmed J'onzz when he went to retrieve Supergirl, but that doesn't mean that he won't attempt something if you leave the base with Danvers."

 

"I really don't think that it's the best idea to have Agent Danvers leave the base in her current condition and under so much stress," Doctor Hamilton said.

 

"Supergirl can't help us right now...and if us leaving draws them away," Alex started.

 

"No," Lucy waved off.  "They're right.  We need to do something.  To act fast."

 

"Maybe I could just attempt to draw them away," J'onn spoke up.  "I don't really think we have much of an option right now…  We're not giving them Alex."

 

There was no question about that.

 

"Go," Lucy instructed.  "But do me a favor and don't get yourself killed."

 

There was no other way.

 

She knew that.

 

This still didn't make what was about to happen any easier.  In front of everyone, J'onn transformed from his human form as Henshaw into his true Green Martian form.  Their eyes met and she didn't say the things that she wanted to say.  He already knew that she didn't want him to go.  His fingers brushed hers for a moment.  

 

_ Come back to me. _

 

_ Always. _

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  



	3. Family means everything

" _Kara,_ _please wake up_ ," Alex whispered as she held her sister's hand and hovered over her still form.  " _I need you so much right now_."  It was a plea.  A desperate one.  She'd honestly never felt more helpless in her life, not even when she'd been in Project Cadmus.  Right now, she didn't have control over what was happening or the ability to help other than do what she was told and most of all...she didn't have any control over her emotions.  Tears rolled down her cheeks and she didn't worry about crushing her unconscious sister as she hugged her as tightly as she could.  " _I need you.  I don't know what to do._ "  
  
"Oh, _Sweetheart_!"  
  
It wasn't Kara's voice, but rather her mother's.  Her mother had been so concerned and had tried to be as attentive as possible while still giving her the space she needed and at the same time being a mom to Kara.  It was a lot to juggle and Alex could just imagine how exhausted her mother had to fell.  Alex pulled away from Kara and turned to see her mother there in the doorway.  " _He's here because of me…  Everyone is in danger because--_ "  
  
" _Shh…_ " her mother tried to comfort as she moved towards her and then wrapped her arms tightly around Alex.    
  
One arm went around her mother as the other kept a firm hold on her unconscious sister's hand.  So much had changed over the last year and she knew that so much was yet to come...but right now, it felt like the world was self imploding.  As much as she'd always tried to be there for Kara since she'd joined their family, she'd always had Kara as her own rock.  Alex just didn't think that her sister realized just how much she loved her and needed her.  Alex's voice broke completely as she failed at holding it together at all.  " _Mom--_ "  
  
"Hush," her mother whispered into her ear.  "Everything's going to be okay."  
  
Alex squeezed her eyes shut and tried to believe those words.    
  
"Don't you for _one moment_ let that weight that you always seem to be carrying on your shoulders crush you," her mother told her firmly.  "Every single person in this building cares about you... _and_ Kara... _and_ I'm fairly certain that they're all excited about this baby…"  Her mother gave her a good squeeze.  "Don't you for _one moment_ think that your life is _less_ important than anyone else's…  You do _so much_...for so many...and you never ask for anything in return, Alex…"  Her mother held her back at arm's length, hands firmly on her shoulders.  "I know you're scared, I know this isn't part of your plan, but every single person in this facility is behind you...they support you...and they'll do whatever they have to to protect you--"  
  
It wasn't her mother's words that caught her attention right then, but the fact that Kara's hand squeezed back.  Alex blinked away the tears.  " _Kara?_ "  The name tumbled out of her mouth before she could think and she turned a breath later.    
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  


"Stop fussing over me."

 

"That's never happening."

 

"Alex--"   
  
"Kara--"   
  
"Will you both stop?" the voice asked in exasperation.

 

The girls both looked over from where they were sitting together at the small child.  Kara had been released from the med bay and they'd been ordered to sit in the lounge with Charlie Benanti.  Alex gave the girl a small smile, her mother had left Charlie in charge of them both.  So far, Charlie was taking the task quite seriously…

 

"You're not selling the whole idea of having a sibling," Charlie told them.  "Did my moms put you up to this?"

 

"No," Alex responded first.  "But I'm sure we can tell you our experience since Kara and I were both only children for a good portion of our lives."

 

"I never thought I needed a sister until I had one...and now I don't know how I managed those first thirteen years without her," Kara added.

 

"Ditto," Alex said quickly.  

 

"Are you sure it's not just because you got a sister that was like almost your same age and was an awesome alien?" Charlie questioned seriously.  "I mean...your sister knowing how to fly had to have been cool."

 

"I wasn't allowed to use my powers," Kara explained.

 

"So, you never used them?" 

 

Alex and Kara briefly exchanged looks before looking over at the little girl.  She was definitely Benanti's daughter.  "Maybe once…"   
  
"Or twice," Kara corrected.

 

"But that doesn't mean that a human sibling wouldn't be just as awesome."

 

"Let me tell you something as the younger sister," Kara said in her sweet sunny tone.  "I had such a hard time fitting in...more than anyone else because of my powers…  I had super powers, but my sister...Alex...she was my hero...she still is.  If you have a sibling, they'll feel the same way.   _ Trust me _ ."

 

Suddenly Eliza was barging into the lounge in quite the hurry and almost like she was on some kind of mission.  "Kara, I need you to call your cousin--"

 

"Wait, isn't your cousin...Superman?" Charlie questioned quickly.

 

Alex knew that her mother wouldn't just randomly have burst into there in such a frenzy--and then it hit her.  Her eyes squeezed shut and she tried to push the pain of the whirlwind of thoughts.  A gasp escaped her lips and she tried to push back the foreign words in her head.  

 

_ J'onn J'onzz. _

 

_ Jeremiah. _

 

_ Danger. _

 

_ Have to get them out. _

 

_ Alex and-- _

 

She realized that the thoughts were from her mother.  That hadn't happened before.  Alex could use the telepathy with J'onn and only him...but this...this--

 

"Alex?"

 

"Alex, Sweetheart, are you listening?  Are you okay?" Eliza pressed.

 

"I--" Alex mumbled as she opened her eyes and looked over at her mother.  "What's happening outside?  J'onn--"

 

"We need to get you out of here," her mother pushed without an explanation.  "They're going to come in here to get to you, Alex--"

 

"I might know another way," Alex whispered.  All she kept thinking about was that J'onn had promised that there was a place where she could be safe.  She'd known that he'd meant it.  She swore she'd even seen a brief glimpse of it.  "But I have to go alone."

 

"That's not happening," Kara immediately told her as she took her hand.  "El-may-arah."

 

Sweet, Kara.

 

Tears welled in her eyes as Alex just stared at her sister.  Sometimes she'd wondered what went on in her sister's head, but she already knew that she'd never get to see inside of it (well, no more than what she'd seen when Kara was under the Black Mercy) but the Green Martian's mind powers didn't work on Kryptonians.  It had to be bright, sunny, and full of hope.  That was how she was Kara.  Full of heart and Alex's anchor.  "You forget," Alex told her sister.  "J'onn trained me…  I know how to disappear…  I can get away--"

 

"Not alone," her mother reinforced a moment later.

 

"It's that or I hand myself over," Alex put out there.

 

"You can't!" Charlie chimed in now.

 

Alex looked over at the little girl who looked completely devastated.  "Charlie--"

 

"You two are like super sisters...you can do anything together," Charlie insisted.  "Kara's right.  El-may-arah.  Mom Alice said that Director Lucy's dad is the mean general...if he really loves his daughter, then he's not going to do anything stupid."

 

"How old are you again?"

 

"She's right, Alex," Kara pointed out.  "Together we can do anything."

 

And Alex knew that.  

 

She just hadn't wanted to endanger her sister.

 

She hadn't wanted to endanger  _ anyone _ .

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


_ J'onn. _

 

_ Alex? _

 

_ Lucy has a plan.  Come back. _

 

And he didn't argue.  Even though he didn't respond, Alex knew he was coming back.  It was like somewhere inside of her, she sensed him getting closer.  Alex already knew the plan and she wasn't thrilled about it, in fact...no one seemed thrilled about it.  The thing was, they just needed to get her out of there.  

 

They couldn't just hide her away like before, but they could get her out of there and then let the cards fall where they would with General Lane.  Alex really hated putting in such a position, but right now...right now she knew that she needed to think about herself and the baby.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


Everyone was assembled in the control room of the DEO including her mother, Charlie Benanti, Kara, and J'onn.  All eyes on Lucy, who looked like she was holding the weight of the world on her shoulders.  "We're going to cause a distraction in order to get Agent Danvers and her family out of here and to safety," Lucy announced.  "I've already spoken with Harewood and Adler.  There's a solid plan in place as long as we're all still in the same page.  They're getting impatient, so we're going to have to act soon…  Adler and Harewood need a couple of volunteers and I want to remind everyone that once we get them away to safety, if the army comes in here...I will take full responsibility…  You all may have agreed to it, but I am still director."

 

Alex wanted to argue and she could see it on pretty much everyone's faces, but right now it wasn't the time.  

 

"Supergirl and J'onn J'onzz will be flying Alex and her mother out of here, we just have to give them the time to get away...hopefully without being seen," Lucy continued.  "It's not going to be easy.  They have that...cyborg...and it's clear that he has orders…  We got Alex and J'onn out of Cadmus once, no one is going back there...it's our jobs to make sure that we guarantee that."  There were a lot of nods and murmuring.  

 

"Let's get going," Adler said quickly with a clap of her hands.  "They're not going to just sit out there twiddling their thumbs forever!"

 

Lucy moved over to them and Alex knew that words weren't going to work, so she just hugged her.  She hadn't been so sure about Lucy being the DEO Director, especially under the circumstances she'd come into the position, but she was doing a good job...and Kara believed in her.  

 

"Get going," Lucy told her.

 

She felt her mother pulling her away.  She hated this.  She hated this so much and she was trying to keep her emotions in check.

 

"I can't wait to meet that little one, but when it's safe," Lucy added a moment later.

 

"Thank you, Director," J'onn said with a nod.

 

The four of them made their way away from the control room.  There were so many people that Alex would have normally said goodbye to or said something to, but there just wasn't time...and everyone was focused on their tasks.  This wasn't the end and this really wasn't a final goodbye, they'd see them all again soon enough.  

 

They were nearly to where they were going to exit when Alex reached out and pressed her hand against the wall as she gasped.  It had been surprising, but not painful, but now...now she was even more stressed.  

 

"Oh Alex," her mother whispered.  

 

"We can't go now," Kara stated calmly.  "I'll get Doctor Hamilton."

 

"Labor could take days," Alex reminded as she closed her eyes and just focused on breathing.  She was already upset enough, she didn't need to make things worse and this wasn't something she could control.  The baby was going to come when it wanted to.  

 

"It's too dangerous," her mother said.  

 

"It's not safe here."

 

"We'll keep it safe enough," J'onn told her as he approached her, she could sense him.

 

"I don't want you and Kara out there," Alex argued as she opened her eyes.  "I don't want anyone out there…"

 

"Alex--"

 

But her scream just filled the hallway and hands held her up.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  



	4. For One So Small

Alex would normally be worrying about how it wasn't the right time.  They weren't safe.  They needed to be safe first--but her head was just filled with things that didn't make sense and her head was buzzing with the sound of other voices that weren't her own.  

 

Too much.

 

Too much noise.

 

Too much pain.

 

Too much--

 

The song…

 

In her head, she could hear J'onn singing in her head.  She was certain it was the song he'd sung her earlier telepathically.  Well, was it to her or the baby?  She wasn't certain.  Alex focused on it and there was something so calming about it.  

 

_ That's right.  Focus on me. _

 

Alex's eyes blinked open at his voice before the song resumed again.  He was standing there above her, she was lying on a table in med bay, and he was standing at the head of it.  She breathed and just stared at him.  It was then that she realized something had to be wrong for her to be in med bay and for her to feel like she did.  The baby--

 

"Breathe," she heard and saw J'onn speak.  

 

And she did.

 

She realized that he was the reason why the chatter had died down in her brain, his song...but the pain...though it had lessened, it was still there.  "Something's wrong," she breathed in fear.  Her eyes darted around and though she could see Doctor Hernandez and Doctor Hamilton, they were not focusing on her.  Looking back at J'onn, she gave him a beat...hoping he'd explain before she'd have to voice the command.

 

"The baby's in distress," J'onn whispered as his fingers moved through her hair, the song still playing in her head on a loop.  "The stress--"

 

And then suddenly Doctor Hamilton was there staring down at her on her left side.  "Alex, the baby is in distress and breech," she explained calmly.  "We're going to have to get the little one out quickly, which means we're going to have to do a c-section to guarantee the safety of the baby.  We're going to give you a spinal, but we need you to try to stay calm."

 

"The baby's going to be okay, right?" Alex gasped as a wave of pain hit her.  

 

"That's our goal."

 

"Doctor--"

 

"I can't promise you anything more than that we're going to do our best and that the faster we act, the better," Doctor Hamilton said evenly.

 

"Then do it," Alex whispered and looked up at J'onn.  "I'm so--"

 

"Shhh," he cooed before pressing a kiss to her forehead.  "Everything is going to be okay."

 

And she tried to believe that.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"Doctor Danvers--"

 

"I just want this moment with my daughter," Eliza told Doctor Hamilton and apparently it was allowed.

 

Her mother held her still as Doctor Hamilton performed the spinal.  This wasn't Alex's birth plan, but she knew that she could adapt.  It wasn't so scary, she just hadn't wanted to be alone, the doctors had told her that only one other person could be in there with her and it was only right that it was J'onn even though she would have loved to have her mother and Kara there as well.  

 

"It's going to be okay, Sweetheart," Eliza told her.  "The baby has just decided that it wants to come a little early…"

 

Alex was trying to be positive.  J'onn had told her that the baby was fine and the song was still in her head.  "I wish you could be there…"

 

"Kara and I will be close," her mother told her.  

 

"Okay, we're set," Doctor Hamilton spoke up.

 

Her mother pressed a kiss to her forehead.  "I can't wait to meet my granddaughter," Eliza said with a smile as she cupped Alex's cheek staring at her for a moment.

 

"I didn't tell her."

 

Alex just stared at her mother.  

 

"What?" Eliza questioned with a slight shrug.  "You don't think I can't tell from how you're carrying?  A mother knows."  She smiled and then let out a slight sigh.  "And you're going to be such a good mother, Alex.  You already are."  She paused for a moment, obviously not wanting to leave her.  "I have to go.  We won't be far."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"You're doing great," Doctor Hernandez spoke up.

 

Her focus had been solely on J'onn and his face, but she'd been taking in everything that they'd been saying and telling her.  She knew exactly what had to be done when it came to a c-section, even if that hadn't been her birth plan...it was a possibility and Alex liked to be informed on everything that she could encounter...even this.  

 

"We never discussed names," J'onn brought up.

 

He was distracting her.

 

She didn't mind.

 

"Kara bought me a book," Alex said.  She was sleepy and it was weird feeling pressure every once in awhile and know exactly what they were doing.  "I think it was a ploy to get me to tell her the gender."

 

J'onn smiled at that.  "I'm sure she's just excited to be an aunt."

 

"She is," Alex agreed with a bright smile.  

 

"You had to have opened the book."

 

"I'm fairly sure that Lara read me nearly every name in that book...and then other people took turns," Alex stated.  

 

"We've almost got her out," Hamilton spoke up.  "You might feel a little pressure."

 

Her.

 

Alex had known that the child inside of her was a girl for a while.  She'd worried about J'onn's reaction, but she was just glad that he was happy.  It was so weird even after so many months of being pregnant to know that she would soon come face to face with a being that had lived inside of her...a little girl.  

 

"Something had to have stuck out to you," J'onn pushed.

 

"You have to have names you like," Alex countered.  She wanted this to be a discussion about the child's name, Alex didn't want to be the one to just pick it.  She wanted him to like it too.  

 

"We're not deciding right this moment," J'onn reminded.  "Just tell me names that are on your mind."

 

Distraction.

 

She remembered that he was trying to keep her calm.  

 

Distraction.

 

Alex closed her eyes for a moment before looking back up at him.  So, she had a list in her head.  She couldn't help it.  She'd refused to go down to a couple of names when she and J'onn hadn't even gotten to discuss the child's name together.  So, she'd just been compiling the names in her head.  "Hartley.  Adair.  Cameron.  Omari.  Carter.  Everly.  Jaina.  Pax--"

 

Her baby's sudden cries brought her to a complete halt with the list.

 

"Congratulations on being parents," Hernandez said.  "And welcome to the world little one...first one born in the DEO."

 

She couldn't see her daughter yet, but that didn't make her any less excited about meeting her.  Deep down, she felt like she already knew her.  Maybe it was just what being a mother was about, the connection you felt that was built up over the many months, but Alex wondered if it could possibly be more...if it was because of her mental connection because the child was a hybrid and possessed J'onn's powers.  

 

"We're going to let you meet her for a minute and then I'm going to take her to check all of her vitals in the other room," Hamilton said.  "J'onn can come with me if you want."  

 

And Alex did want that.

 

Even though she knew that in the DEO, they were safe...there was still a looming fear.  There was an army right outside of their doors and they were coming for her and her child.  That fear couldn't just be erased.  Reality was still there.  So, she'd ask J'onn to go with Hamilton and the baby, just to make sure.  

 

"Here she is," Hamilton said.  

 

The baby was bundled up, so first all Alex saw was Hamilton's beaming face.  The doctor lowered the baby until Alex could see her and they were nearly touching face to face.  She was beautiful and perfect.  Those were the first thoughts that ran through her head.  She couldn't believe how perfect her daughter was and was suddenly hating the idea of having her taken out of her sight, she just wanted to hold her and talk to her.  "Hi, Little One," Alex whispered as tears fell.  She watched as J'onn's finger caressed the baby's cheek and just for a moment, the baby's cheek blotched a darker color before it reverted back.  "Her color--"

 

"I'm sure it has something to do with her biology," Hamilton said.  "I don't think it's something to worry about.  She is just merely adapting to her surroundings.  She's got ten fingers and ten toes and seems fine now that she's out."  

 

"She's per--"

 

The rest of the word didn't make it out of her mouth.

 

Alex didn't know what was happening.

 

It was like everything froze.

 

No, it wasn't everything...it was just her.

 

Suddenly everything seemed to fastforward.  Hamilton and J'onn both concerned and worried looking at her and trying to say things from her.  The world around her quickly darkened and she felt a heavy weight dragging her down.  

 

Her last thought.

 

Her daughter.

 

How perfect her daughter was.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

 


	5. What's in a Name?

Beep.

 

Beep.

 

Beep.

 

It wasn't the song.

 

It was the first thing her brain realized.  The beeping that kept continuing at a steady pace was harsh and unrelenting.  There was no beauty or melody to it.  It was as if it were poking her...prodding her...and eventually...she gave her.  Her eyes opened, slowly at first.  She was groggy and confused.  It took a few moments for her to fully open her eyes and take in her surroundings.  

 

DEO.

 

Med bay.

 

Then it hit her, why she had been there in the first place--  Her hand reached down and she realized that it wasn't a dream, she'd had her child...when she saw no bassinet or person holding her baby in the room in sight panic set in.  Alex didn't care how her body felt, all she knew was that she needed to find her little girl.

 

J'onn.

 

It wasn't the same.

 

She didn't have the link.

 

Not like before.  

 

That made her worry all the more as she pushed herself up into a sitting position, which forced her brain to spin and nausea to hit her.  Pushing off the blankets and pulling at everything connecting herself, she was worked into a frenzy--

 

"Alex!  Stop!  No!"  

 

Her head shot up and Kara was standing there in the doorway.  Her sister was immediately at her side pushing Alex's hands away from IVs and other things.  

 

Kara huffed.  "I leave your side for five minutes to get a coffee--"

 

"What happened?" Alex shot off quickly.  "Where's my daughter?  Where's J'onn?  Whe--"

 

"Shhh…" Kara tried to comfort as she started to cover Alex up using one hand to manage the blankets.  "They're safe.  I promise, they're safe."

 

"I want to see them," Alex whispered, tears falling down her face.  "How long was I asleep?"

 

Kara was just staring at her now and it was making her anxious.  It was a look she knew well, like Kara was trying to figure out the correct way to say something to Alex.  "You were out for nearly a week, Alex," Kara said gently.   "I seriously stepped away for just a couple of minutes.  One of us has been with you the entire time."  She sat down in the chair next to the bed.  Kara let out a sigh.  "Alex, J'onn and the baby aren't here…"

 

"What?" she breathed out in a broken whisper.

 

All of the worst case scenarios hit her all at once, Cadmus at the top of that list.  

 

"Lucy had to let the army in.  There was no other way, so J'onn took the baby and Eliza.  Doctor Hamilton is also there now," Kara explained.  "I promise you, they're all safe.  She's healthy and she's being looked after."

 

"A week?" Alex huffed.  She stared up at the ceiling.  She knew that she had to have missed so much of her daughter in that space of time.  She remembered reading how especially in the first three months how some people said that they took pictures of their child every day because they changed so much in that short period of time.  "She's not going to know me…"

 

"Of course she is," Kara assured sweetly.  "You're her  _ mom _ …  It's a bond that can never be taken away."

 

"I haven't even held her yet, Kara," Alex cried.  

 

Her sister moved to hug her.  "I can take you to them as soon as Hernandez clears you.  It's going to be okay.   _ I promise _ .  You'll see."  Her sister, Kara Danvers, always the optimist...the hoper of far flung hopes and the dreamer of improbable dreams.  Of course, someone needed to have that light, that hope, and that certainty that the future would prove beautiful and safe and perfect.  This was never how she pictured her life, especially with a child…     
  
Her heart broke a little.   
  
The panic was still there.

 

She just hoped that Kara was right.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"Are you certain you have everything you're going to need?" Benanti questioned for about the fiftieth time since Doctor Hernandez had cleared her to leave Med Bay and the DEO.  Apparently Benanti had been a lot of help while she'd been unconscious and she'd been quite busy with the shopping.  Alex supposed that it made sense since Benanti was the only woman at the DEO with a child of her own.  

 

"Yes," Kara responded this time.  "And if not, I can fly back and get it."

 

Alex just looked between the two of them.  "I just want to see her," she whispered.  She was exhausted, which didn't make sense to her since she'd been out for almost a week.  How did that work?  Or was it more of a too much sleep tired kind of thing?  All Alex knew was that she needed to see her daughter...she needed to see for herself that her little one was okay.  She also just needed to hold her.  

 

Kara didn't argue or make her wait.

 

They were off and away, Alex and Kara...and baggage.  Alex didn't even ask what it all was, just assumed it was necessary.  She had worried that they'd be tracked, but Kara assured that if Cadmus could track them, then they'd have already faced that battle.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


Even though Kara possessed both super speed and flight, it still took them some time to travel to the place she'd been promised would be safe.  Alex had somehow passed out along the way, fatigue tugging hold.   When they landed, it was beginning to grow dark and Alex blinked her eyes as she took in their surroundings.  Nothing looked familiar.  "Where are we?" she questioned.

 

"Scotland," Kara replied.

 

"Scotland?"

 

Before her sister responded, she was leading her away from where they'd landed near the water and up towards a cottage.  "Summer Isles.  The cottage is rented under a name that shouldn't arouse any suspicious and it's all paid for in cash and in advance."  

 

"What about Supergirl flying here--"

 

Kara just beamed at her.  "Stop worrying...and just get excited."

 

When they entered the cottage, it was warm and smelled of food.  Alex realized at that moment that she was hungry, but she was also still quite exhausted.  More than any of that, though, she wanted to see her daughter.  Her sister dropped the items that she'd been lugging with them on their trip near a couch.  Alex didn't question any of it, she just looked around.  No one came to greet them and Kara was insistently leading her in an obvious specific direction.  As they moved through the cottage, she took in the baby things here and there (most of it, she swore was off of the gift registry that Benanti made her set up when they'd gone on that quite interesting trip to Babies R' Us).  She was about to open her mouth to say something, but Kara pulled her into a bedroom.

 

Looking around, Alex immediately recognized key items from home (her pillow and her blanket).  There was a bassinet set up near the bed along with other baby items that she remembered Benanti telling her were necessities.  They'd never even gotten to the point where they purchased a crib, Alex had kept putting it off...she hadn't wanted to until she was back home in National City (she didn't want to set things up in Midvale even though her mother really wanted her to).  

 

"Oh good, you're here."

 

Turning, she found herself now being guided to the bed.  "Doctor Hamilton--"

 

"I'm staying in the next cottage over," she explained.  "Unless I'm needed back at the DEO, then Supergirl takes me--"

 

She supposed that that was good to know that there was someone so close by that was a doctor in case anything was wrong.  Alex found herself being immediately looked over and she sighed because she knew that it was useless to argue about it.  Hernandez had looked her over before they'd left, but the two doctors were likely not in constant communication.  "My baby, Kara--"

 

The doctor apparently had a sudden need to examine her throat.  Alex was not pleased, but was trying to be the best patient she could be given everything that had gone on.  Kara disappeared and she found herself being ordered into bed by Hamilton.  The doctor had even assisted her with removing her shoes and tucking her into bed.  

 

"I'll get you a water bottle, you really need to stay hydrated," Hamilton said before closing the door and leaving Alex alone.  

 

Closing her eyes, she tried to stay calm and ward off the fatigue that was threatening to drag her back to sleep.  She was counting, telling herself they had a minute before she was getting out of bed--

 

_ Alex. _

 

"J'onn," she whispered out loud even though she'd heard his voice in her head.  

 

The bed shifting on one side brought her eyes open once again and she expected to see Hamilton, but instead, J'onn was sitting there with a bright smile on his face and a wrapped newborn in his arms.  He had their daughter held out so that she could take her.  "Someone's been waiting to see you again," he whispered as he set the baby in her arms before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her forehead.  

 

Tears nearly immediately welled up and she was hit by a sudden wave of emotions.  She was so happy, but so torn about having missed this time with her child.  "She's so perfect," Alex whispered.  She hadn't missed the change in her daughter's appearance when J'onn had passed her to her.  "She's really okay?" she questioned as she looked up to him for the answers.

 

"Yes," he responded immediately.  "She hasn't quite figured out her form--"

 

"So, she'll be able to shape shift--"

 

"Maybe--"

 

"J'onn--"

 

"Shh…" he cooed and moved so that he was sitting next to her on the bed, his arm wrapping around her.  "Enjoy this moment, Alex.  Don't worry about the rest of the world right now."  

 

It wouldn't come again, she told herself.  This was her moment with her daughter, for the first time in nearly a week.  "She doesn't have a name yet...unless you named--"

 

"Not without you."  

 

"I thought that I'd see her and I'd just know her name, but it's not that easy," Alex whispered as her finger traced along her daughter's cheek.  

 

"Your mother has suggestions."

 

She beamed at that.  Alex leaned in and kissed her little one's face.  No amount of reading, she realized, would ever have prepared her to truly be a mother.  The feelings she felt, she hadn't expected them...or the connection she felt with her daughter...and even though it had only been moments, she swore that her daughter knew that she was her mother.  

 

"A name can wait," he whispered.  "All that matters is that you're both healthy...we're together and safe…"

 

And he was right.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to follow me on Tumblr (shannyfishwriter) and Twitter (shannyfish)!


	6. A Time To Breathe

"Amara…"

 

"Are you sure?"

 

He smiled over at her.  "Am I sure?  Are _ you _ sure?"

 

Alex just enjoyed watching J'onn with their daughter.  It was still a little odd to her that their child kept changing her coloring.  There was so much joy on J'onn's face, though, and there was also the fact that Alex loved to listen to him hum and sing to settle their daughter down.  "I think it's perfect."

 

"Amara Danvers," J'onn said aloud.

 

"Danvers?"

 

He shrugged and then looked over at her.  "I'm not technically really a legal citizen as J'onn J'onzz…  And all the Danvers women are strong...and our little one...she is already so strong.  It's right."

 

"Do Martians have middle names?" she questioned, not pushing the surname.  

 

"No, but  _ humans _ do…"

 

"Not all--"

 

"But _ you  _ do," J'onn pointed out.  

 

Alex knew what he meant by it all.  They were trying to figure this out.  They hadn't done it months before and their daughter was nearly a week old now.  Having a first name wa sa major improvement from 'little one' or 'baby'.  J'onn had also decided on the surname.  A middle name wasn't such a big deal, it could wait...until the right time and until they found the perfect name for their daughter.  

 

"What do you think your mother and Kara will think?"

 

"Well, Amara  _ does  _ sound like Kara…" Alex pointed out.  That wasn't why they'd picked it, but it was a nice coincidence.  She was quiet for a moment, still watching J'onn and Amara.  It was such a happy thing.  "I think they'll just be happy to have a name."

 

"It's perfect," J'onn said, smiling so brightly.  It was a contagious thing, how he smiled and how happy he seemed.  It was like Kara, it was a contagious and beautiful bright happiness.  "She's perfect," he said as he stared down at Amara in his arms.  Then his eyes were on her.  "You're perfect…"

 

The moment was perfect.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"We can't stay here forever."

 

"Maybe not, but right now...it's home."

 

Alex looked over at him.  Their daughter was sleeping and it was one of their few moments where they were able to just be together.  Sure, so far they hadn't been discovered and things had been nice on the island...but Alex knew that that couldn't last.  "We can't live like this…"

 

"For right now, until you are stronger...until Amara's okay to be moved, then we should stay here," J'onn told her gently.  There was a space of silence before he spoke again.  "We should talk about Jeremiah…"

 

" _ No _ ," she said quickly and turned away.  "That thing...the _ cyborg _ ...it's  _ not  _ my father…  Cadmus  _ killed _ my father all those years ago," she whispered.  Alex hated thinking that something that had manipulated her father's appearance was out there...and it was looking for her and Amara.  She squeezed her hands and fidgeted, wanting to somehow to express the anxiety and turmoil she was feeling inside.  "I just…  I can't stop worrying or--"  His arms were almost immediately around her.  A breath later, she relaxed into him before her arms held him...and her fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt.  

 

"You have always worried about everyone else before yourself, Alex," J'onn whispered before pressing a kiss into her hair.  "It's what makes you such a fierce mother."  She lifted her head and their eyes met and he smiled.  "But right now... _ we're safe _ …  Right now, let's just  _ enjoy  _ Amara…"

 

This was truly the first time in so many months that they'd been able to be together plus her family was there.  They all had such wonderful opportunity to enjoy the baby.  Alex knew that she couldn't let go of her worries, but at least she could distract herself with her beautiful daughter.  She sighed and closed her eyes, trying to push her worries back (because she knew that it was impossible to completely banish them).  "Will you stay here?  On the island?"

 

"With you and Amara?" J'onn asked softly.  "Yes.  For as long as we can be safe here."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"It's such a beautiful name!" Eliza exclaimed as she beamed down at the bundle of joy in her arms.  "Amara…" her mother repeated.  

 

Alex watched her mother as she walked the room, there was so much love in her mother's eyes.  As she watched her, all she could wonder was if this was how her mother was with her when she was that age.  They had had such a rocky relationship over the last twelve or so years, that sometimes Alex forgot all the good happy memories of her childhood involving her mother.  She'd always been a daddy's girl, but her mother...well, she had always been her mother.  

 

"I can't believe I'm a grandmother," her mother went on as she walked with the baby.  "Though, I'm not like an  _ old _ grandmother....maybe we need a different word for it...like Nan... _ no _ , that sounds old too…"  

 

Her smile widened as she watched her mother fret over the perfect variation of grandmother that didn't make her feel old.  "Mom, you have time to figure it out...she can't say it yet."

 

"I just want her to know who I am."

 

"Don't worry, Mom," Alex tried to assure.  "Amara will never not know who you are...or how much you love her."  For a moment, the future felt extremely hopeful and bright.  It lasted only a brief moment, though, and then Alex realized that maybe her mother had a good reason to worry.  If they couldn't be safe in one place, then they'd have to keep on the go, that meant never putting down roots and possibly not seeing her mother or even Kara…  That idea slammed into Alex and for a moment, she couldn't breathe.  Tears streamed from her eyes as she tried to regain control over her emotions.  Reaching up, she immediately wiped away the tears, not wanting her mother to see her crying.  More so, Alex didn't want to have to explain it.  Covering her mouth and looking out the window for a moment, she tried to focus on something else.

 

Right now J'onn was showering and Alex was thinking that maybe she should take one after he was out.  She was still recovering from having Amara and she was supposed to be taking it easy, but a shower was maybe all she needed to make her feel a little more alive.  Being cramped in the little house all day long was hard, especially when you were so used to being far more active.  J'onn and the others had assured her that they were safe there.  That they could leave the house and be okay, but it was hard for Alex to bring herself to do so...especially with Amara (even if it was just out the door a few feet).  Worries flew through her head, mainly because of Amara's changing features.  

 

"Alex, you know, we should really sit by the window a little in the living room," her mother said.  "Just to make sure Amara's getting enough sunlight."

 

There was no arguing, instead she just nodded.  

 

"Honey?  You okay?"

 

She couldn't tell her mother the truth.  Alex just stared at her mother for a long moment, trying to push out the right words.  Words that were truth, but weren't the entire truth.  "I'm just really tired…"

 

"You haven't eaten much since you've been here," her mother pointed out.  "And you need to take in enough water…"  Her words were more matter of factly rather than accusingly.  Alex appreciated that, especially because she didn't want to fight (she didn't have the energy or the want to fight in front of Amara).  

 

"I'll eat something and grab a bottle of water once I take a shower," Alex offered up.  She just was loving watching her mother with Amara in that moment.  Kara was even more adorable, just because of the faces her sister made and how she always wanted to tell the newborn about the stars.  It was good though, Amara was of two worlds...and she was glad that their family had people that could tell Amara about other places...the stars...and the world beyond that she'd likely never see.  

 

"You could go and take a walk later, too," her mother offered.  "You know I'd happily keep an eye on her while you took a few minutes…"

 

And Alex just couldn't bring herself to going too far.  Even though she knew that her mother was only meaning for her to get out for some air, she feared what could happen...and she hated the idea of being so far away.  "Maybe," she said, even though the answer was really 'no' and her mother likely knew that.

 

"You know, when I had you...I thought I had it all figured out.  I had read so many books," Eliza told her.  "Actually, I think your father read  _ twice  _ as many.  I think men feel like they're less prepared to be parents because society more ingrains family and taking care of each other into girls.  No matter, I was terrified I was going to do something wrong…"  She went on.  "And I'm sure I did all kinds of things wrong...but you know...your father and I came to an agreement one night...we were so exhausted and we didn't want help, but we finally accepted it."  Eliza shrugged.  "I know Amara's  _ brand new  _ and it's different because I think I went nearly six months on three hours of sleep...but we're all here  _ together _ , Alex…  We  _ want _ to be here for you and the baby…  We want...well, we _ need _ you to be strong.  So, just  _ please _ ...really think about letting people help more."

 

Her mother was right, she knew that.  It wasn't just needing to be strong so she wasn't the weak link if something were to happen...she just needed to be able to be herself (for herself and for Amara).  "I will," she whispered with a nod.  "I promise."  The island was apparently not that large, so that meant that even a long walk really wouldn't take her far from the little cottage.  Maybe it was just because when they'd been in Midvale, she'd had Adler and Benanti too.  Here on the island, Kara was only there part time…  So, if she and J'onn left...her mother might only be left with Hamilton (and that was only if she was actually there with them).  

 

"That's all I ask…"

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


The shower was amazing.  Alex knew it had to be quick because they had a limited amount of hot water and J'onn had been in just before her, but she was more than okay with that.  It was more just so that she felt more like a real person and it was working.  She just hoped that she looked more alive once she was dressed, since J'onn had given her a look and then had started to go on about how tired she looked before she'd stopped him.  

 

As she turned the water off, she froze for a moment, Amara's cries being suddenly crystal clear.  She told herself not to panic, but she found herself doing so anyways.  Alex grabbed the towel, wrapped it around herself, and hurried out of the tub/shower.  The only problem was that it was a high tub and that Alex's other foot didn't quite make it all the way out, her toes caught the edge, and Alex went flying forward.  She caught herself on the back of the door and let out a cry.  Nearly immediately, she heard J'onn calling her name as Amara still cried.  

 

It took her only a moment to collect herself from the heap she'd fallen into and get to her feet, by them, he had the door open and was staring at her, the baby in his arms.  "Are you okay?" he asked in concern.

 

She sighed.  Amara was likely just hungry, she realized.  "I just…"

 

His face softened and he sighed before she could say anymore.  "You know that she is safe here.  We all are…"

 

He knew exactly what she was thinking.  Sometimes it was a blessing while other times it was a curse.  "I just heard her...and I panicked...it's not because I don't think you can't care for her," Alex told him.  Obviously she knew that J'onn and her mother could care for Amara since they'd done so for nearly a week after she'd passed out while giving birth and not woken up for nearly a week.  Their daughter absolutely adored him and he did so well with her, but Alex was still going to worry...no matter what.  

 

An arm wrapped around her and he hugged her close before pressing a kiss into her wet hair.  "Are you okay?" he whispered.

 

"I might have broken a toe," she mumbled.

 

"You okay to get dressed on  your own?" he questioned.

 

Alex nodded and leaned down to kiss Amara before he moved with the baby to give her some privacy.  Sometimes it was odd between her and J'onn.  There was a weird awkwardness sometimes because they had a daughter together and they had feelings for each other...but for the majority of the last ten months...they'd been separated and their romantic relationship hadn't gone very far.  That was fine, she didn't mind, but sometimes she wondered if things might have been different with them now…  Alex honestly wasn't sure if she was ready for it to be any further than it was and it wasn't like J'onn was pressing her for anything...but sometimes, she did wonder and think about it.  

 

Closing the bathroom door again, she sighed and looked down at her foot that was throbbing.  The one toe was already turning colors.  It wasn't like she could really do anything for it.  It wasn't even a toe that she could tape to the one next to it.  Alex knew she'd just have to wear shoes and try not to bang it anymore.  

 

She took a moment to do what she needed in the bathroom before heading into the bedroom.  She knew that J'onn would have moved away from her bedroom and was likely trying to soothe Amara before she could take her and try to feed her.  Alex pulled out a set of clothes from what had been brought for her.  She'd been sticking to lounge clothes, which was working well for her.  Today really wasn't the day to stop with it.  It wasn't like they were going to go out and tour Scotland.  No, she was going to go and feed her daughter and then maybe venture right outside of the cottage with J'onn.  No need to put on jeans or anything tight fitting, not that Alex felt like she could fit back into her old clothes just yet.

 

As she opened her bedroom door, J'onn and Amara in sight, every phone in the cottage started to ring at once.  A loud boom overhead followed.  The only thing that Alex could think in that moment was that they'd been found…

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  



	7. Balance

J'onn's hand was on her arm, pulling her close.  The phones were still ringing, but they were there standing in anticipation of what was coming next.  Nothing came.  The phones all stopped ringing and then her mother was at the door.  

 

"They were trying to alert us of an incoming storm set," Eliza told them.  "They're going to come around and make sure that the cottage is as protected as possible…boarding up the windows and all that.  We should have enough food and water until it passes."

 

"We're safe, though?" Alex questioned.

 

"It's just a storm, Alex…"

 

The sound before, she realized, the booming...it had to have been thunder.  She sucked in a breath and gave her mother a nod.  She was still a little shaken by it all.  It was hard not leaping to the worst case scenario when it was the way Alex was used to thinking.  

 

"You know what?  The storm's not here in full force yet," Eliza said gently.  "Why don't you and J'onn go out and get some fresh air before we're locked in here for the storm's duration?  I'll take the baby and we'll just rock for a few minutes."  She held out her arms for Amara, but J'onn didn't hand her over right away.

 

J'onn was looking at her and Alex knew that he was asking her for permission.  She was the one who hadn't been able to spend as much time with Amara as it seemed everyone else had...and Alex was her mother.  Their situation wasn't easy, but she knew that if there was a storm coming, then this might just be the only time until it passed that she got to go outside.  "Maybe that's not such a bad idea," she finally said slowly.  It was hard for her as she watched J'onn hand Amara over to her mother, but she knew that her mother would care for the baby and that she and J'onn could use a few minutes together (and time outside of the cottage, especially before the storm came).

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


Wrapped in a throw, using it like a shawl, Alex walked the perimeter of the cottage with J'onn in silence.  It was even more beautiful outside than it was from looking out the window.  She stilled and sucked in a breath, her eyes on the dark flurry of clouds that were making their way towards where they stood.  

 

"You thought it was Cadmus, didn't you?" he questioned quietly and gently. 

 

Alex looked over at him, her eyes searching his face for his feelings on the same question.  "Yes," she responded just as silent.

 

"So did I."

 

There was something comforting in knowing that J'onn had had the same thoughts, that she wasn't completely foolish.  "We can't live here forever unnoticed, J'onn," she whispered as his arm encircled her, holding her close to his side.  Alex let her head drop to lean against him.  She closed her eyes for a moment, sucking in a breath.  "This isn't any kind of life for a child."

 

"If it were possible, it it made sense," J'onn told her.  "I'd whisk you both away to another planet.  Somewhere I'd know was safe…"  

 

Alex didn't know if there was really a place out there like that.  She knew that Kara had once told her that she'd been to twelve planets growing up, so there had to be some kind of world out there that didn't hate what was different.  "You and I aren't really ones for running away from a fight," she finally said...and it was the truth.

 

"You're right about that," he commented, there was definitely a smile in his voice.

 

As she stared out at the incoming stormfront, she knew that one thing was for certain, they'd weather that storm just like anything else that blew into their lives.  They were fighters and they couldn't forget that.  

 

They wouldn't.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


When Alex and J'onn walked back into the house, the far too pleased sounds of her mother and Kara talking to Amara filled the cottage.  They stayed back for a moment and just both watched as sunny Kara walked around with Amara in her arms, both her sister and mother talking to her daughter in high pitched adorable voices.  It was something so peaceful and perfect, that moment, and all Alex could think was that this was a glimpse of what their future could look like.  

 

Happiness.

 

It wasn't something that they all got together for a long periods of time.  She was far too used to the anxiety, action, worry, and exhaustion (emotionally and physically) that came with her job (a job that she loved even with the weight of it).  This was their family.  No matter how dysfunctional it could be at times, no matter their pasts, no matter how unexpected...this was it and Alex wouldn't trade it away for anything.  

 

Kara was the first to see them, likely she'd not heard them come in because she was so focused on the baby.  She lit up.  "Oh, there you guys are…  How was your walk?"

 

"It was nice," Alex said not moving from the doorway.  She just smiled as she watched them and J'onn's arm wrapped around her.  

 

"It doesn't look very nice out there."

 

"I've never minded a storm."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


Rocking Amara, she just watched as her daughter slept in her arms.  They were both individually bundled up and though the storm was raging outside, it didn't seem to bother Amara.  Alex always loved to sleep during storms, the rain always aided her in sleeping so much better.  Perhaps that was what it was like for her daughter too.  

 

It was probably one of the few times since she'd gotten to the cottage where she felt like she completely was alone with Amara.  J'onn, her mother, and Kara had spent so much more time with Amara and Alex had felt like maybe somehow she wasn't as good of a mother as she could be (even though that was completely illogical, there were reasons why she couldn't be there...and reasons why Amara had to be whisked away).  

 

"Mommy loves you," she whispered.  

 

It was silly, but Alex felt like she needed to say it aloud.  Of course actions spoke louder than words, but she still felt like she really needed to say the words.  As she rocked Amara, Alex found herself being flooded with a happy feeling...something she couldn't really describe beyond that, but it was beautiful.  She stopped rocking and looked down at Amara's sleeping face.  Sucking in a breath, she started to rock again.  All she could think was that maybe she still shared a telepathic link...but this time with Amara.  

 

She knew that she should try to elicit a similar response, but at the same time...Amara _ did  _ need to sleep.  So, Alex just rocked and watched her daughter sleep.  There wasn't a lot of certainty when it came to Amara (except that they'd all fight to the death to keep her safe), but they had no idea how long it would take for her to adopt one set of features and stick to them.  It had been captivating, concerning, and confusing in the beginning...but now she didn't really mind or notice.  No matter the coloring, Amara was her daughter and nothing was going to change that.  

 

There was a light knock at her door before it swung open an inch.  J'onn was peeking in.  He instantly was smiling.  "You know, I've been lectured by your mother about this," he whispered.  "When the baby sleeps...you're supposed to sleep."

 

"I just wanted to watch her for a little bit," Alex confessed quietly.

 

He let himself in and moved closer.  "She is absolutely beautiful to look at."

 

"And I think...I think I felt her?  It wasn't words, but like a feeling…"

 

J'onn crouched down next to the rocking chair and nodded.  He was actually beaming at her.  "I'm glad that you can feel it too."

 

"I suppose that it probably comes more naturally between you two…"

 

"You're her mother, Alex, and when you were pregnant with her...you had the ability--"

 

"But I haven't been able to use it with you since I had Amara," Alex pointed out.

 

"We also never made a point of trying it out."

 

"Not now," Alex told him quickly.  She didn't really want to fuss about it.  Fatigue was hitting her and she knew that if it wasn't coming easy or it was just downright difficult (or not working), then it would just be an insane amount of frustration that would hit her.  She didn't want that.  She wanted this happy moment to just stay with her until she woke up.

 

"Of course."

 

Alex looked down at Amara again, brush her finger along her cheek.  "Do you think she's worried?"

 

"No."

 

"Are you sure?"

 

"I know that she knows that she's loved and that when we're calm with her, then she feels calm," J'onn explained.  "I think it's important for us to try to be calm...not just for Amara though…"

 

"I'm actually excited about this storm."

 

"As long as it doesn't whisk the cottage away?"

 

Alex grinned at that.  "It's a storm, not a tornado…"

 

"I should let you sleep," J'onn said as he got to his feet.

 

Alex took in Amara for another beat before getting up from the chair, leaving the blanket she'd been wrapped in behind and simply moving towards the bassinet near her bed in order to tuck Amara in.  "Stay?" she requested in a whisper as she set Amara down, making sure she was positioned properly.

 

Silence.

 

She looked over at her a moment later and he seemed to be unsure.  "You don't have to--"

 

"No, it's just...I wanted to give you your space--"

 

"I just don't want to sleep alone tonight," Alex told him.  "I just want to be held.  That's all."  It wasn't like she wanted to strip down or anything, she just wanted to lay in the same bed with him and be held.  She wanted to feel that connection with him.  It was something small and yet something huge at the same time.  They were trying to get to know each other in this relationship.  It was a different way of knowing each other and this was something that Alex felt was necessary for them both.  Now just felt right.

 

"Okay," J'onn responded finally and moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

 

The bed wasn't large, Alex was fairly sure it was a full, but it would be big enough for cuddling and the body heat factor would just be a plus (especially with the storm).  She moved towards him and wrapped her arms around him before pressing a kiss to his forehead.  "I'm glad that you found this place."

 

"I am too."

 

"But we really do need to sleep…"

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


The storm had been wonderful as far as Alex was concerned.  They'd lost power after day one, but it hadn't been a big deal.  They had candles.  Even though it got chilly, they had each other and blankets.  There was a fire in the fireplace and they had food.  They had each other and that was really all that mattered.  

 

"Remember your first storm with us, Kara?" Eliza reminisced.

 

"Uh, storm?  How about the first Earthquake?" Alex countered with a smile.  Kara had been this adorable, lost, and easy to love girl when she'd first come to Earth and she'd had so much to learn.  The planet's weather and seismic shifts were among them, especially since California didn't often have weather outside of sunshine.

 

Kara just beamed at them.  "As terrifying as those moments were, I am happy to be here and to understand it all now…"

 

It almost felt like family camping, but inside, as they all were gathered together in front of the fireplace.  "I never imagined us having three generations of Danvers gathered around like this," Eliza commented.  

 

Alex wondered if that was because her mom wasn't quite sure if she'd ever have grandbabies.  Of course, that wasn't exactly how Alex had ever thought she'd be a parent...but she wasn't taking it back.  Amara was beautiful and amazing and everything that she never knew she wanted in her life.  "We're going to have to make sure that we take lots of pictures."

 

"Oh, Eliza's already been on it," Kara said.  

 

"I wasn't sure how long it would be until you were here with us," Eliza confessed gently.  "And I didn't want you to miss Amara growing...so I've been taking pictures every day…  That way, you'll have pictures...because they grow so quickly when they're this small."  She smiled and just looked so peaceful.  "She reminds me sometimes of you when you were that small, Alex.  She make a face that reminds me of you...and they grow up too fast."

 

The evening continued just like that.

 

Smiles.

 

Happiness.

  
Stories.

 

Talk of the future.

 

The storm raged on outside, but the Danvers family was peaceful inside the Scottish cottage on the little island.  "Did you ever decide on a middle name?" Eliza asked.

 

"Not yet," J'onn responded.  

 

"We figured there was no hurry," Alex put out there.  

 

"I was just curious--"

 

Before Eliza could finish what she was saying, a window exploded inward, bringing the storm with it.  J'onn was immediately shielding her and Amara.  Alex sucked in a breath and blinked rapidly as she tried to take in what was happening.  The first moment, she thought that maybe it was something from the storm...that something had been thrown into the window.  

 

It wasn't the storm.

 

"Go!" J'onn shouted as he helped her to her feet and turned her in the direction of the bedroom.  

 

She could see him changing into his Martian self.  Alex didn't want to run away, she wanted to stay and fight, but Amara…  Her daughter was screaming in her arms and she found her mother right beside her.  Doctor Hamilton was there in the cabin and had been napping, but they found her outside of the bedrooms.  They all gathered in Alex's room together.  

 

"We need to barricade the door," Eliza said quickly.

 

Alex, though, knew that nothing was going to stop the cyborg from coming in after them.  It was a ugly harsh reality that she couldn't do anything to stop.  "A barricade is going to do nothing against--"

 

"I don't care!"

 

She watched as her mother and Doctor Hamilton worked to erect a makeshift barricade with what they had in the bedroom.  Alex moved and went to work.  She couldn't be some damsel in distress.  She refused.  So, she grabbed the baby carrier that she'd been given and went to work putting Amara in it.  It wasn't something her daughter was used to, but they were going to have to do it anyways.  It seemed to calm Amara, which brought Alex so much relief as the sounds of fighting seemed to get closer.  Grabbing her firearm, she got it ready and turned to see the horrified look on her mother's face.  She wasn't going to just sit there and hope that the cyborg didn't come through the door, not when she could do something to stop it.

 

They needed a plan.  Looking around, Alex realized one, but she knew it wasn't one that her mother was going to be behind, but she was certain that she could convince Hamilton to do it.  She moved to the window and opened it, the storm in full swing outside.  

 

"Alex!  What are you doing?" her mother shouted.

 

"Hamilton!  You need to get out of here.  You need to call the DEO," Alex said as she moved to the other woman.  "They might not be able to get here to back us up, but they need to know what is going on."

 

"I--" Hamilton tried to argue.

 

"Someone has to go!" Alex insisted.  "J'onn and Kara are going to try to keep us safe...and my mom won't go...so I need  _ you _ to do it."  They stared at each other for a moment before Hamilton finally gave a firm nod.  "Talk to Lucy and Adler.  Make sure they know where we are.  No matter what happens, it's not safe for us here anymore."

 

She and her mother helped Hamilton out the window, but left it open.  It would be a good distraction if the cyborg got into the bedroom.  Alex's next concern was for her mother's safety.  She pointed to the bed.  "Under," she instructed.  The bed wasn't large, but it would be large enough for her mother to slide under and with the duvet hanging down, she would be obstructed from the view of someone walking in.

 

"What about you and Amara?" her mother immediately argued.

 

Looking around, Alex realized that there really was only one other place that she could hide.  She immediately went to the wardrobe and opened it.  They really didn't have anything except a few pieces of clothing in it.  It would work.  She'd be cramped, but it would be the best place for her to hide with Amara in that room.  It would keep her daughter close to her, which is what she wanted.

 

"Okay, okay," her mother said.  

 

Alex climbed in carefully, her legs folded tightly with Amara's comfort in mind at the same time.  "I love you," she told her mother.  

 

"I love you," Eliza echoed.  Tears were failling down her mother's face as she leaned in and pressed a kiss to Amara's forehead and then one to her cheek.  With that, her mother quietly closed the wardrobe doors leaving them in the dark.

 

Alex sucked in a breath and then pushed it out.  Amara was quiet and she hoped that she stayed that way.  One hand was running along the back of the carrier, Amara facing into Alex's chest, while Alex's other hand gripped her sidearm.  If the cyborg made it in and tried to take them...or Amara...then Alex wasn't going to give up without a fight.

 

For what felt like the longest time, there was only the sounds of thuds.  Fighting, Alex knew.  Kara and J'onn were doing their best to keep them safe.  There was a loud crack and breaking sound and Alex knew that the fight was moving...and it was moving closer to them.  It got louder and louder and Alex found herself bouncing Amara slightly to keep her quiet as she started to fuss.  There was a crack that emanated from beside the wardrobe, making it vibrate and making Amara scream out.

 

"Shh…" she whispered as she continued to bounce Amara.  All Alex could think was how unreal it felt that it was really happening...that the cyborg...that Cadmus had found them.  She'd fought so hard about accepting that they'd been safe before...and now that she'd finally accepted it, they weren't safe anymore.  

 

The doors of the wardrobe came flying open and Alex came face to face with the cyborg wearing her father's face.  Her firearm was already up and ready and pointed right into his face.  Kara and J'onn went at him, but they both seemed to be hurled out of sight.

 

"Jeremiah, please!" she heard her mother shout.

 

To her horror, she watched as her mother crawled out from under the bed.  Alex really had no escape at that point, but she noticed that the cyborg seemed to be temporarily distracted by her mother.  

 

"She's our  _ daughter _ , Jeremiah!  Our granddaughter!  Please don't do this!  I know that you're still somewhere inside!"

 

"You're wrong," the cyborg spoke, sounding mostly of Jeremiah Danvers but then also partly of machine.  "You can't stop Cadmus."

 

Alex shot at him, not caring the face that he wore.  It didn't matter.  He wasn't Jeremiah Danvers, not anymore.  He was a cyborg sent by Cadmus.  She wouldn't let Cadmus win and she wouldn't go back there...and most of all, she wouldn't let them have her daughter.  Cadmus had to be stopped.

 

"Alex!" she heard her mother yell.

 

She didn't blink, she shot again.  The cyborg didn't seem fazed.  She'd shot him twice right where his heart should have been.  She found herself being drug out of the wardrobe by the throat before being shoved against the cottage wall.

 

"Jeremiah!  Stop!  Please!" her mother shouted with all the voice she had.

 

She swore that was going to be it.  He was going to kill her.  Her father's face being used by Cadmus Labs was going to be the last thing she saw before he killed her.  But then something changed.  He blinked and suddenly there was something different behind those brown eyes.  "Alex?" he whispered.

 

"Please just let them go!" 

 

Her mother's voice, she realized, was registering in his mind too.  He looked over at her, his hand still on Alex's throat.  "Eliza?"

 

Her mother was crying.  "Jeremiah, please!  Please let them go!  Don't hurt them!"

 

Her father was looking back at her again and it was like everything was crumbling inside of him.  His hand loosened around her throat and he took a step back.  And then she saw it, the fight inside of him.  It was clear that it took work for them to control the cyborg version of her father.  No matter what they did, they had to fight Jeremiah Danvers in order to use his body.  

 

Kara and J'onn were in the room once again, but before there could be anymore fighting, the cyborg took off on his own.  

 

Tears were falling down Alex's face and she just looked over at her mother.  All she'd ever wanted was for her father to come home, for them to be reunited.  Cadmus had killed her father...but this...it was like they just kept killing him over and over again.  It wasn't fair.  It wasn't right.  

 

"Alex," she heard J'onn say but it took her a moment to realize he was standing there with her, his hands holding her up as he searched her and Amara with his eyes.  Kara was over with Eliza.  

 

"We have to go," was all Alex could think to say in that moment.

 

"I know," he whispered as he transformed back into his human disguise.  

 

"Where will we go now?"

 

"The only place we  _ can _ go," Kara spoke up.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  



	8. Preparing for War

"She is  _ beautiful _ ."

 

"They can do whatever the hell they want, they are not getting in here and touching any of these babies."

 

Alex just stood there, watching as everyone just absolutely loved on Amara.  She'd thought about how you really were supposed to limit the exposure with an infant, but these were the people that would be protecting them all.  Benanti was absolutely enthralled, Harewood had even smiled genuinely, and Adler was just ready to defend the DEO from any invaders.  From what she understood, Lucy had already started to make the necessary changes to the DEO facility and to staffing in order to make it a hold out.  Harewood's children and wife along with Charlie Benanti were all on site.  The key to it all was that they were safe.  

 

"You know, maybe you should try to sleep for a few hours, Alex," her mother said as Alex just watched them with Amara.  No one had said anything about how Amara's coloring would adjust depending on who was holding her, but Alex almost felt a need to see every possible version of her daughter.  "It's been a long day."

 

"For all of us," Alex said as she turned to look at her mother.

 

"Are we sure we're going to be safe here?" her mother questioned.  

 

It was difficult to say for sure.  They'd been in this same position before, except Alex had been pregnant.  It wasn't something that she wanted to do, but the cyborg had proven that he could find them anywhere…  Lucy and J'onn were certain that Cadmus would do anything to lure them out, which meant going after the people that Alex and J'onn cared about most.  That meant her family (Kara and her mother) and then the entire staff of the DEO that they worked with on a daily basis.  "We have to be," was all Alex could say.  

 

"You'll be safe," Adler insisted.

 

"Come on, let's get you settled in," Benanti said.  "We can worry about how this is all going to work after…"

 

And in that moment, Alex really welcomed Benanti's taking over.  She didn't want to really think about all of the possibilities that might come with what they were doing.  All she wanted to do was to take a moment, hold Amara, and forget that they were essentially under attack.  So, she took her daughter back, holding her close, and followed Benanti.  It was illogical, she knew that, to just want to do something that was the opposite that she knew should be done (her facing this whole situation head on from the control room).  

 

"I just think I need a minute," Alex told Benanti, her voice breaking as the weight of the world hit her sudden and hard, as she peeked down Amara.  She held back the tears, but kept her eyes on her daughter.  She suddenly had a millions thoughts in her head and most of them were about whether what they were doing was fair...fair to Amara.  Was there another way?  Another way to protect her?

 

Suddenly Benanti was hugging her.  "You take all the time you need," she said before disappearing suddenly and ushering out Charlie and the Harewoods.

 

Alex just sort of stood there in confusion for a moment.  After a moment, she sucked in a deep breath, found a seat, and just stared down at Amara.  That's all she wanted in that moment, quiet time with her baby girl.  "I love you," she whispered, her words breaking and tears falling as she stroked her daughter's cheek.  "I will _ always  _ love you...no matter what..."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"I'm fairly sure that I have offered my expertise and baby skills for nearly a year now, but I'm just reminding you...I can hold that beautiful baby as much and often as you need," Benanti reminded.

 

Alex just smiled at that.  "Noted."

 

"I mean, I don't know why she has to be in the other room, we could be holding her out here…"

 

"They probably figure that their brand new baby doesn't need to be exposed to any more violence or talk of it," Adler brought up.

 

"She's just a baby."

 

"She's part Green Martian, so isn't it safe to say that she likely has inherited some of the whole mind powers thing?"

 

"Okay, good point."

 

Alex just shook her head ever so slightly, her arms crossed tightly over her chest in an effort to hold herself together.  She knew that her daughter was safe and with her mother in the next room over, but it was still hard to leave her.  What was going on was absolutely terrifying.  They were safe, but for how long?  How long and at what cost?

 

_ Breathe. _

 

Her eyes darted around the room until they finally settled on J'onn.  He was standing on the edge of the room, his eyes were on hers in that moment and she knew that he had to be monitoring her thoughts (or at least her emotions).  It wasn't new, but she wondered if hers were more intensified than normal.  

 

_ We're going to be okay. _

 

_ Amara is safe. _

 

_ We won't let anything happen to her. _

 

She knew that J'onn was right, but that wasn't going to completely do away with her fears.  Her arms stayed wrapped around herself.  Her attention moved back to the others.  Lucy and Kara were standing near where Vasquez was sitting.  She wondered if that meant that they knew something new.  The DEO was standing together and they weren't backing down.  Alex wondered if this meant that Cadmus and the cyborg had realized that that was where they were hiding out.  

 

"Unless it is absolutely necessary for the safety of the civilians of National City and the world, the DEO will be on a constant lockdown," Lucy announced.  "If anyone has remembered a relative or some other person in their life that they are concerned about, please come to me or Adler ASAP so that we can make arrangements for them."

 

There was a long pause, as if Lucy was allowing time for anyone to speak up in between.  It had been told to them over and over again since they'd gotten there, that everyone on that base had chosen to cooperate with the plan they were going forward with.  It was what Lucy had told her before…  The DEO and her co-workers had shielded her (and Amara) from Cadmus and certain pain from experimentation that would lead to death.  Alex didn't think that she could face being in Cadmus again...or see J'onn subjected to it...or the monsters that lurked within its walls.  

 

_ We're safe _ .

 

The thought hit her about the same time as the realization that there was now a hand inside of hers.  She looked down first before looking to her left to see J'onn there, his eyes on Lucy.  It wasn't quite far, Alex felt, that now she couldn't use the martian telepathy like she'd seemed to be able to do when she was pregnant with Amara.  Things had been different with her and with J'onn because of her carrying their precious little one.  

 

"Let's get to work ensuring the base is completely locked down," Lucy ordered.  "Adler, make sure that all of our boxes are checked."

 

"On it," Adler said before disappearing.  

 

"I'll start the headcount," Benanti offered a moment later with a nod before heading off as well.  

 

Alex moved towards Lucy, she wanted to be of some help.  She hated feeling useless.  This was about her life.  Her daughter's life.  J'onn's life.  The life of everyone else that was close to her.  She couldn't just stand by and be idle.  "Give me something to do," Alex said, her arms still crossed tightly over her chest, her weight shifting back and forth so that she was almost rocking herself.  

 

"You know the base better than I do," Lucy said as she took a step towards her, closing the distance between them.

 

J'onn was standing right next to her, so Alex assumed that he also wanted to help.  She didn't think that there would ever be a version of reality in which J'onn wouldn't want to help.  "Adler--"

 

"We made a checklist with Vasquez," Lucy explained.  "We might have missed something though.  You both know this base better than I do.  You're the closest to outside eyes we're going to get in this moment…  Check to make sure that we didn't miss anything.  We were thinking about any other way, than the obvious ones, that someone could infiltrate the base...or even carry out some kind of attack--"

 

"Like gas?" J'onn questioned.

 

"Harewood already figured that part out for us.  He thought about it before you all left the last time, so we've had time to create shutoffs, but still allow for us to have breathing air in here," Lucy told them.  "Anything, though...even if you're saying things that we've already thought of.  I know that this must be hard for both of you, especially since you're normally the ones making the plans, but it would make me feel better too."

 

J'onn gave a slight nod.  "Of course."

 

Alex couldn't contain herself in that moment.  Maybe it was just hormones, but she launched right to Lucy and hugged her tight.  "Thank you," she breathed.  She knew that she'd said this before, but she felt like it needed to be said again.  Lucy Lane had changed so much since Alex and J'onn had both met her, so much that she had gone against for them.  

 

"You know you're more than welcome," Lucy told her.

 

"Let's go and double check things," Alex said as she pulled away from the embrace, her head immediately turning towards J'onn.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"You okay?"

 

"You know that question is getting old."

 

"It's valid."

 

"I would be _ a lot  _ better if this wasn't just filling time," Alex told him.  "If we were doing something more than pretending that we were actually doing something productive."

 

"We're doing what we can," J'onn told her.  "I know that it's frustrating and that--"

 

"They're coming for us."

 

"They always will."

 

"And we'll fight," Alex said simply, like it was the most natural thing that came out of her mouth.  It wasn't just because of Amara that her first thought was to fight, she'd do the same thing for pretty much anyone else.  "It's still my father, no matter how much I keep telling myself that he's gone...that he's just some kind of vessel.  I tried to tell myself that they'd mutilated his body and created this monster, but deep down inside...Jeremiah Danvers is still alive...and that-- _ he _ ...is still going to be their main weapon against us."  She paused for a moment.  Maybe after everything, she just really needed to say it all out loud.  She didn't know.  All she knew was that she felt like it needed to be said, even if he already knew it all.  "It's not just because he's my father...but--"

 

"He's stronger than a normal human," J'onn supplied.

 

"He threw you and Kara across the room in Scotland."

 

"That doesn't mean that I won't do everything to keep you safe."

 

"Cadmus is coming for us,  _ but J'onn _ ...one thing I know for sure...is that I can't lose anyone," Alex said, turning to him.  They were alone, but she knew that with all of the emotions that felt like they were running rampant inside of her, that she knew that it was likely that J'onn already felt or sensed...but she couldn't let it come to the surface.  If she did, Alex knew it would overtake her.  She sucked in a breath, forcing herself to a calm that was nearly impossible to hold, but she did for that moment as she breathed her next words to him.  "I  _ can't _ lose you because of this war with Cadmus."  

 

So much had gone on.

 

So much could go wrong.

 

They couldn't let it.

 

"You won't."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  



	9. Risks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: tissues needed (more than usual)

The entire building shook.  

 

Alex had prepared for a coming war, but the war was here before she was really ready for it.  It wasn't like the war was out there in National City or coming for them, no...it was right on top of them.  As the building continued to shake, tears welled up in her eyes, she felt like the most selfish person and the most horrible mother.  His lips pressed against her temple and her tears fell, she knew that he had to feel what she felt.  

 

"I have to go out there," he whispered.

 

And she knew that was coming.

 

J'onn and Kara were two of their most powerful weapons.  That left so much for her to lose.  She looked up at him.  "Just come back to me?"

 

"We both will," he promised.  "I want you to be with Amara right now.  I know you think you need to be out here...but Alex, right now your place is with our daughter.  You might not be able to do a lot from here, but you need to be the last line of defense for her."

 

She gave a nod, even though that was breaking her up inside.  It meant that she wouldn't be able to constantly monitor what was going on with Kara and J'onn.  She'd be totally blind to it all.  He was right, though, she didn't have anything to offer right now in the control room, there was nothing she could do.  There was no science and no safe reason for her to be out there in the field with other agents.  

 

The glimpse of her sister from the corner of her eyes was enough to swing her attention that way.  She knew that she couldn't think negatively, not about them, they'd faced worse odds...but it was so hard.  She reached out, Kara's hand was in hers within an instant.  She didn't want to make a big show of it, because this wouldn't be goodbye.  It couldn't be.  It wouldn't be.  Their embrace was short, but so loving.  It was one without words because they didn't need words.  

 

Her arms wrapped around herself as she watched them go.  Only allowing a moment, she turned to look towards Vasquez.  "I'll be--I'll be with--"

 

Vasquez gave a nod.  "We'll let you know if we need you."

 

"Thank you."

 

In all her years, Alex never really did well alone.  Even when she'd been alone, she really hadn't been alone.  If it hadn't been her parents with her, it had been Kara, or J'onn…  She'd always had someone to lean on and someone who needed her.  She hated feeling helpless and useless, but she knew that J'onn had been right...and right now she needed to protect their daughter and make sure she felt safe.

 

Kirsten Harewood was in the lounge area that they'd set up to be the civilian safe area, her daughters were on either side of her reading books.  They looked far more at ease than she felt in that moment.  Alex had no idea what he told his family he did, but they obviously weren't fazed.  

 

Sitting next to her mother without a word, Amara was passed to her without a word.  Alex just held her daughter, taking in her perfect features and just thought about all of the big steps in her daughter's life that she couldn't wait to witness.  

 

_ J'onn _ , she thought.   _ Please be safe. _

 

_ Always. _

 

The response was in her head, just like her thought had been.  It was definitely J'onn.  Alex wasn't sure if it was because of her...or if it was because she was holding Amara.  She closed her eyes and then rested her head on her mother's shoulder as her arm wrapped around Alex's shoulders.  Right now she didn't care, all she was happy was to hear something from J'onn.  

 

"Try to sleep," her mother whispered.

 

"I can't," Alex responded back just as quietly.  

 

"Then just rest…"

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


Emergency lights flashed.

 

Klaxons sounded.

 

The building still shook.

 

"Alexandra, they said to stay in place," her mother said.  

 

"We're going," Alex insisted.  " _ All of us _ ," she said as she looked towards where Kirsten Harewood and her girls were.  Charlie Benanti was clinging to Alex, which was fine.  She knew exactly what they had to do.  The whole reason that everyone was in danger was because of her...because of J'onn...because of Amara.  The problem with that was that she would always fight back.  She'd sat there idle for long enough.  She finished adjusting the carrier she had Amara snuggled in before grabbing her larger warm coat and pulling it on over.  Zipping it up three quarters of the way, she sucked in a breath and reminded her that she was doing the right thing.  "We're going to get to somewhere safer," Alex insisted as she grabbed her sidearm.

 

Now Kirsten started to argue, "Davis--"

 

"Harewood will want you kept safe, right now...this isn't the safest we could be," Alex countered.  She didn't have the time to continue this conversation.  This was what they were doing and Alex needed them to all be on board and listening.  "Everyone needs to stay together tight and quiet.  We're not going to take anything extra with us, we're just going to go--"

 

"We need the baby bag at the very least," her mother spoke up as she grabbed it quickly and flung it over a shoulder.

 

"Charlie, I need you to hold onto my mom's hand, okay?  You _ have _ to stay close," Alex told her.  Between the Harewood girls and Charlie, Charlie Benanti was the youngest by a few years.  Without Adler or Benanti there, that meant that she needed to keep a close eye on the little girl.  She knew that if their positions were reversed that Benanti and/or Adler would do what she was doing in a heartbeat (though Adler would have already been out of there because no one would have dared argued with her).  

 

"Okay," Charlie responded with a quiet nod.

 

"And you have to be  _ really _ quiet."  The little girl nodded again.  She looked around the room.  "We're going to stick together, be quiet, and keep as close to the walls as we can.  It's not far, but it's not going to be quick to get to."  She didn't help for anything else to be said, instead of she moved towards the exit she knew that they could take that would be the safest.  Pushing it open just a bit, she took a moment to take in what she had to deal with.  It sounded quiet, but she knew that she couldn't take that as gospel.  Experience and training had taught her that she always needed to be prepared.  

 

When she opened the door further, she took the time to check in all directions to make sure it was safe before having everyone follow her.  It was an immediate thought to Alex that this wasn't going to be as nearly easy as it could have been since she was moving all civilians.  None of them understood her hand gestures, except possibly Charlie.  Alex wasn't completely sure on that one.  

 

It actually ended up being a lot easier for the first half of their move than she'd thought.  That part of the base seemed quieter than the area that they'd been in before...possibly because they were going further into the base.  She looked back to check on everyone following her before sucking in a deep breath and peeking down to check on Amara.  Her daughter was wide awake, but so far she was quiet and calm, Alex just hoped that that continued until they could get to where they were going.

 

There was fighting and Alex could hear it getting closer.  At least there hadn't been any weapons fire that she had heard from the group that seemed to be getting closer to them.  Small blessings, she supposed.  Taking it as slow as she felt was safe, Alex inched her way around a corner only to come face to face with someone who was most definitely not DEO.  Reacting instantly and instinctively, Alex disarmed him immediately before disabling him and leaving him unconscious in a heap.

 

It was that moment that scared her the most, when Amara started to cry out.

 

"Alex!  Is she--"

 

"She's okay," Alex told her mother quickly as she holstered her weapon for a moment so that she could look at her daughter properly.  Unzipping her jacket, she immediately went to work pulling Amara from the carrier.  She'd been able to see her little face looking up at her, but she just needed to see for herself that Amara was really okay.  The guy hadn't touched them, but it had still scared Alex enough.  It seemed that as soon as Alex held Amara against her chest that the infant calmed, so Alex pulled out her gun and they continued.  This wasn't the way she wanted to do it, but it was her only option or so it felt like in that moment.

 

They were close.

 

" _ Alex _ ," she heard her mother hiss from behind her.  "Let  _ me _ carry Amara."

 

But they were almost there and Alex felt like there was no need to do it.  They were nearly there and she didn't want to risk her daughter getting upset,  _ vocally upset _ , because of such a hand off.  Amara was still so small and right now her schedule was even more screwy, Alex just couldn't risk it...more for Amara and the other children's safety more than anything else.  They'd been so lucky thus far.

 

_ No _ , she could do it.  

 

_ They _ could do it.  

 

Just a _ little _ bit farther.

 

The scream alarmed her more than anything else in that moment.  It wasn't from Amara or anyone in their party, but like a warcry coming from the throat of a partially familiar person.  "Wall!" she shouted.  It was a blink, but Alex squeezed Amara to her chest, dropped her gun back into its holster, grabbed Charlie, and then turned and practically shoved her mother and Charlie into the wall.  Her body acting as a shield for a moment, but instead of them being attacked, there was a loud clatter that came next.

 

_ J'onn! _

 

"I'm here," his voice came aloud.  

 

Alex turned her head to see him there battling the cyborg that had once partially been her father.  It was their opening and Kara came in to cover them even more a blink later.  So, she took it, dragging Charlie along with her, which meant her mother was being towed as well since Alex had realized that they were still holding hands.  The Harewoods were close behind and Alex led them to the safe spot that she wasn't sure was exactly as safe as she'd hoped.  "In, in, in," Alex said.  She handed over Amara to her mother this time.  Her eyes were on both Kara and J'onn as she held the door, her weapon in her hand once again, and all she could think was that she didn't want to leave them behind.

 

_ Go! _

 

She didn't.

 

Alex gave her mother a final look, her heart breaking having to leave Amara.  She secured the solid door (thankful this was an area that was not composed of translucent walls and doors), shot out the keypad lock, and then turned her attention to the cyborg down the hall.  She sucked in a deep breath and reminded herself that there was only the smallest shred of her father somewhere deep down inside and that she needed to think of him as a hostile.  This wasn't Jeremiah Danvers, this was someone who would kill her, her daughter, and everyone else that she loved.

 

Her arm raised.

 

Breathe.

 

Aim.

 

Squeeze.

 

The shot rang out and Alex immediately gasped.  It hit the cyborg, but he was still standing and now staring at her.  Kara took her turn, throwing him across the room, before both she and J'onn were both flying after him to engage the cyborg once again.  She didn't stay where she was.  No matter what, she was still a DEO agent and she wasn't backing down.  She knew that her daughter and the others were safe and locked away, but the threat was going to be ever present...especially with the cyborg still on the loose.

 

As she moved towards where they were fighting, Kara and J'onn were flung away, which left Alex standing there only a few feet away from the cyborg.  She looked in their directions quickly, taking in that they were both still breathing.  "You're never going to stop," Alex shouted as her gun aimed perfectly for the cyborg.  In her head, though, she was trying to calculate the best spot to shoot that would disable him, something that wasn't a head shot.  

 

"And neither will you," he said to her in a slightly mechanized version of her father's voice.  "You've always been a stubborn one, Alex."

 

"Don't."

 

He sounded too much like her father and that was breaking her heart.  All she could see was a head shot and that was killing her.  There was a cold reality hitting her and she just didn't want to be the one that ended the life of her father.  A sob bubbled up inside of her and hiccuped out of her.  Tears threatened to spill over and she realized then that her hand was shaking just the slightest.

 

He didn't stop though.  "Alex--" 

 

" _ Don't _ !"

 

The cyborg with her father's face moved closer to her, no fear in his eyes.  She was frozen.  All she could see was her father.  He'd been lost, she tried to remind herself.  Cadmus had stolen him away.  They'd broken him, no...no, Cadmus had killed her father.  

 

His chest pressed against the muzzle of her gun.  "I'm sorry, Alex," came in the softest whisper that sounded exactly like her father.  "That I never came home."

 

The sound of the gunshot echoed almost at the same time his words rang in her ears.  Her mouth dropped open and it was like she couldn't pull in any air.  Her father's eyes stared right into hers and for a long moment, that was all that existed.  "I'm sorry," she managed to breathe just as he collapsed.  "I'm sorry…"

 

Kara pulled the gun from her hand and steadied her before pulling her into an embrace.  Alex let the sob out in a far more violent way this time.  

 

"You promised to look out for them," she could hear her father say.  

 

She pulled back from Kara to look over at him.  J'onn was crouched down next to him on one side.  It was like Kara could sense what she was thinking and they both, together and still holding onto each other, crouched down on the other side.  This was their one time to say goodbye.  It was going to be the only time.  

 

"You did a good job…" Jeremiah said.  It was definitely  _ clearly  _ her father now.  "Please...take care of them...all of them…"

 

"I will," J'onn vowed quietly and Alex could hear his voice crack.  This was emotional for all of them.  

 

"You are a noble man, J'onn J'onzz."

 

"Mom," Alex croaked out, realizing that her mother was locked away and deserved this moment as well as she looked in the direction of the door.

 

"I'll get her," J'onn said as he reached out and touched her shoulder before going.

 

"My girls," Jeremiah whispered with a smile on his face.  "You two both grew into such strong and intelligent women…  You are both far more spectacular than I could have ever imagined all those years ago when our family became complete."

 

"Jeremiah!" Eliza shouted in a broken voice.  It was only moments later that her mother was where J'onn had been before.  Amara was still in her arms and really...it was only right.  This was their family.  "Oh, Jeremiah…"

 

"Eliza, I'm sorry--"

 

"Shhh…" her mother said before silencing him with a kiss.  "I love you.  I've missed you so much…"  It was then that her mother must have realized how little time they actually had because she turned Amara so that she could be seen.  "And this is our granddaughter…  Isn't she perfect?"

 

"She looks like Alex," Jeremiah breathed with a small laugh.  "Perfect."

 

Alex swallowed and forced herself to speak up once again.  "Dad--"

 

But it was too late.

 

Jeremiah Danvers was gone.

 

For good.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  
  



	10. Home

Normally, she'd have had a maternity leave.  That really hadn't happened.  She'd tried to take off from the DEO over the last couple of weeks, but she'd found herself going in at least part time.  Maybe it was just the comfort of it.  Alex brought Amara with her, just mainly being at the DEO and with her mother still in town (plus all of her helpful co-workers), she managed to get some time in the lab here and there.  It wasn't like it once had been, but it felt like something that Alex had to do.

 

"You know, you could take the day--"

 

"Are you coming too?"

 

She looked over to see him smirking in response.  "Alex--"

 

"You're just as guilty of being a workaholic," Alex pointed out.  She smiled and bounced Amara a bit, she was snug in her carrier currently sleeping, but Alex was concerned that her little one would wake if she ceased her movement.  "We just both need to figure out a schedule…"

 

"We have a schedule," J'onn pointed out.  "Unless you're talking about--"

 

_ You know what I'm talking about. _

 

J'onn's eyebrows raised and he seemed more amused.   _ You're getting better at this. _

 

"What time are you done with your day?" Alex questioned innocently.  

 

"Depends--"

 

"Kara and my mom wanted to have a sit down dinner with a homemade meal and everything," Alex told him.  It wasn't like this was the first time they were doing it, but it would be the first time that week and she thought it was important for them to get back to feeling more like a family again.  He'd been giving them space and had been keeping his distance and yet still spending a good chunk of time with Amara.  Their daughter was growing so quickly and she didn't want J'onn to feel like he was missing any of it...and he was family.  Even if she and J'onn didn't know where their relationship stood, the one thing they knew is that they were family and that they'd do anything for their daughter.  "Come.  Six.  My place.  No excuses."

 

"What if aliens invade?"

 

"We'll call it Monday and you can let Adler handle it."

 

J'onn smirked.  "Adler, huh?"

 

"Or Harewood."

 

"Or anyone?"

 

Alex smiled brighter at that.  "Well, not anyone…"

 

"See you at six."

 

"See you then."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  


 

"Am I the only one who noticed that Amara hasn't been changing her appearance the last few days?" 

 

Alex smiled.  "It's been about nine days."  Even though her daughter had acted almost like a chameleon when she'd first been born, Alex never didn't recognize her own daughter.  Nothing that Amara could do to change her appearance would change that for Alex.  That also meant that Alex noticed every tiny change and thing that stayed the same when it came to her daughter.  She'd noticed, she'd just not said anything in case it was a fluke and Amara wasn't ready to keep an appearance.  J'onn had said that it would stop, but then...this was the first Human/Green Martian hybrid that they all knew of.  So, it was still unknown territory.

 

"Well, she's gorgeous, no matter what coloring she sets her mind to," Eliza insisted.  Her mother was walking around the apartment with Amara in her arms while dinner cooked.  It seemed like whenever her mother had a chance, she had her granddaughter.  Alex was glad, though.  Amara wouldn't realize how lucky she was to have the family she had until she was grown up.  "I thought Kara and J'onn were coming?"

 

"Kara is running late because--"

 

"CatCo?"

 

Alex smiled and gave her mother a nod.  "CatCo."  

 

"And J'onn?  Is he taking care of some alien incursion?"

 

There was a knock just then and Alex already knew who it was.  She got to her feet, she'd been trying to practice resting when she didn't have Amara.  Alex couldn't just go and nap in that moment, she wasn't that tired, but she had been walking around the DEO for a good portion of the day so resting was feeling a lot better.  Pulling the door open, she took a step back to allow him in.  

 

"Actually, I was picking up flowers and trying to figure out what might be the best type of wine to bring to dinner," J'onn said as he entered with a paper bag in one arm and a rather large armful of flowers in the other.  

 

Alex immediately went to help him after she'd closed the door.  "You didn't have to do that."

 

"You had talked the other day about maybe having a glass of wine," J'onn told her.  "And the flowers are for all of you...if Kara ever arrives."  

 

She moved with him into the kitchen and set down the bottles of wine on the counter before grabbing vases from the cupboard.  The only reason she really had any were because of holidays and then finally coming home with Amara after everything.  She couldn't believe how many bouquets of flowers she'd ended up with.  It had been quite the celebration, but Alex didn't feel like they were completely out of danger though.  The cyborg that had been sent after her was gone and it had seemed like as quickly as he'd gone down that the troops that had been deployed into the DEO had been recalled.  So far, it had been fairly quiet on that front.  Cadmus was still out there though.  

 

Each moment was sacred.

 

They couldn't live in fear.

 

That didn't make it any easier.

 

"Cat's having her finish up some big project that she gave her at lunch today or something," Alex told him as they worked together to get the flowers into water.  "Hopefully she's here before the dinner timer goes off."

 

J'onn put an arm around her and hugged her close before pressing a kiss into her hair.  "Do you need anything?" he asked in a whisper.  

 

"I'm okay," Alex replied as she smiled up at him.  "I still think there's things we should discuss…"

 

"I can go in the other room," her mother called.

 

Alex looked over her shoulder at her mother as she bounced Amara a little.  "No, it's okay--"

 

"It's really no problem."

 

Her mouth fell open and her mother was gone in the other room before she could argue any further.  She turned back to J'onn, not really ready to have this talk with him so soon.  She hadn't had any real time to go over things and plot out what she wanted to cover.  "I--I just--I think that we--"

 

"It's okay," he said as he held up a hand.  "We don't have to discuss this right now."

 

"I want you to be able to spend more time with Amara."

 

"It might be too big of a step right now," J'onn said gently.

 

She didn't think that he meant for him, she was fairly sure that he meant for her.  He wasn't wrong.  She was still thinking about trying to have accommodations so that her mother could be close by.  "I still feel like you and I should live together...with Amara...raising her and--"

 

"I don't want to force you into--"

 

Alex frowned a bit.  "You're not.  I keep thinking that I would feel safer with you here...that you deserve this time with her...and that maybe we could find a place that's bigger than my apartment.  Not a house.  I'm not ready for that, but they do have some larger places...three and four bedrooms, then my mom would have her own bedroom to stay in when she's here from Midvale."

 

"I think it's good for Eliza to be able to spend this time with you and Amara right now.  I don't want to be in the way of that."

 

"But you're Amara's dad...and you deserve to have that time, build that bond," Alex reminded.  She was quiet for a moment.  "I adored my dad...and you should be able to spend as much time as you want and you can with her."

 

"You're certain about this?"

 

"I might have found a few places when I was sitting in the control room, Vasquez helped me because it was all confusing," Alex told him.  "I do better with pictures and simple stuff when it comes to apartment hunting...and all of the websites were anything but user friendly."

 

"Do you want to look them over now?"

 

"I mean, we can…" she stumbled, this wasn't how she expected the evening to go, but she was okay with it.  "Vasquez e-mailed me all the links to the places that fell within the perimeters I gave her."

 

"Which were?" he asked as they walked over to the couch where Alex had left her laptop.

 

"Three to four bedrooms.  Preferred two bathrooms.  Laundry machines in the unit, if possible.  Close to Kara and then also taking into consideration how far it'll be to drive to the DEO.  I'm pretty sure that Vasquez said something about preschools…"

 

"All sounds good.  Might want a good area for Kara or I to fly in, if possible."

 

"Good idea," Alex said as she sat down and pulled her laptop onto her lap, bringing out of hibernation and immediately going to her e-mail.  This was both exciting and terrifying.  She really didn't look forward to moving, but other than the furniture she had in her current apartment, Alex didn't have that much.  

 

They looked through a couple of them and then J'onn seemed interested in one in particular.  "This one is a newer community?"

 

"Yeah," Alex said.  "Vasquez tagged this one because she liked that it had a playground and I think she said that the schools in the area are close and really good.  She also mentioned that it has a community pool so we would be hosting DEO parties."  

 

J'onn smirked at that.  "It's enclosed?"

 

"There's a wall around it, yes," Alex said as she clicked through pictures of the entire community.  All of the interiors and layouts of the apartments themselves looked perfect and modern.  There would be nothing for them to do except the whole moving, packing and then unpacking part of it.  No fixing up anything.  

 

"Does it say which ones have the openings?  Maybe we could find one on the second story that's near one of the walls," J'onn suggested.  

 

It would make the perfect place with the perfect possible entrance and cover for Kara and J'onn's visits.  The apartments all had a fairly spacious patio area, which made it all the better, so it just depended on where it was.  "I don't think they have the community layout, but maybe we could go and visit...look around in person?" Alex suggested.

 

The apartment door opened and they both looked over to see Kara entering, she was carrying a bunch of bags.  "Hey, sorry I'm late.  I might have seen something too cute that I couldn't pass it up for Amara…" Kara gushed.

 

Her sister really might have been the most excited about there being a baby in the family.  It wasn't that everyone else didn't love Amara, they did, but Kara always was on this completely other higher level of happy and excitement.  Alex just was happy that Kara was Amara's aunt.  "What this time?"

 

"I almost got a puppy--"

 

"You didn't--"

 

Kara looked so sad for a split second.  "I didn't," she told her and held up a finger.  "But...she's going to need a puppy or something when she's a little bigger and you have more room."

 

"Alex and I are looking at a bigger place right now," J'onn spoke up.

 

The squeal that escaped her sister's mouth made Alex cringe.  "Okay, okay, we are...but we're not getting a dog right now," Alex said holding up a hand to her sister.  "The only kind of dog Amara can have is a stuffed one for the time being."

 

"Well, I did get one of those," Kara said as she pulled it from one of the bags.  "It's machine washable.  Completely baby safe.  Stitched eyes and the material is the right kind.  No choking hazard pieces or anything."

 

"That's an acceptable dog."

 

"Good," Kara said as she cuddled it once she'd placed the other bags on the ground.

 

"We don't get to see the other stuff?"

 

"Later," Kara told her.  "It's clothes and blankets and baby stuff...and because you're getting a bigger place you'll have more space for it."

 

Currently, the bassinet was in Alex's room near the bed.  She'd read about eventually easing Amara into another room, a nursery, by putting her down for naps in a full sized crib.  That would definitely come if they got one of the larger apartments.  "Okay, but maybe dial it back a little…"

 

Kara rolled her eyes before sitting with them.  She held out her arms and gave the 'gimme' motion with her hands.  "I want to see these places...and I hope that this means that we're less walking on ice."

 

"Yeah, I feel like that's never going to stop," Alex told her sister honestly as Alex pushed back her own hair from her face.  "All I do is worry about Amara…  Whether it's if she ate enough or if I did something right or if she's happy...and then there's her safety.  I don't think I can ever turn that off again."

 

"Aww...Mama Alex…" Kara beamed and half teased before turning her attentions to the laptop.  "I'm going to live vicariously through you...and also, be the best aunt...ever."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


It wasn't the extra rooms.

 

It wasn't the freshly painted walls.

 

It wasn't the furniture.

 

It wasn't anything except that they were together.  It was the first night they were having a family dinner at her new place...at their new place.  Even though Alex's name was on the paperwork, it really felt like it belonged to all of them.  Her friends at the DEO had helped them quickly move in and unpack.  It was a blessing, it kept the stress off and in a way made it a little surreal.  

 

"Alex, spaghetti's done," her mother called.  

 

Taking a deep breath, she tried to take in that this was it.  This was their home.  Even though Alex knew deep down that home was when they were together, it wasn't a place but a state of being with her family, this really felt like home...and it had felt like Midvale was home but after her father had 'died'...it had been Kara.  Now, it was like this new home was a sanctuary, not just for Alex...but for  _ all _ of them.  

 

As she finished putting away the washed clothes into the new dresser for Amara, she couldn't get over how nicely everything had come together.  When she'd lived in her old apartment, she'd just had the bassinet for Amara there and most of Amara's things had been stacked up on top of Alex's dresser.  Now here her daughter had a room all to her own, an entire set of furniture, even the walls were painted to match the theme that she and J'onn had picked out.  She fingered the soft fluff material of the white stuffed alpaca with a scarf from the mint colored walls that Benanti had given Amara when she'd been born.  Normal people bought stuffed bears or bunnies, but Lara Benanti brought babies alpacas.

 

"Al--"

 

"I'm coming," she called over her shoulder before taking in the baby's room one last time and turning to head out.  Amara wasn't using the nursery, but it would be soon enough and for now at least her things could be stored in the proper places.  It also gave a good quiet area to rock her in.  

 

The sound of voices and laughter was a signal that more people had arrived, which meant J'onn and Kara.  Moving out to the living area, she found that Kara had already stolen Amara out of her swing, but J'onn didn't seem to mind.  He was moving to the kitchen and already talking to her mother.  It hadn't been that long, Alex felt, and it felt like this was how their family had been for a good portion of their lives, even if it had really just been a couple of years now.  

 

"It smells delicious, Eliza, but you know you didn't have to cook," J'onn said.

 

"I know, but I like to do it," her mother told him.  

 

Alex moved to them, leaving Kara to bounce and talk to Amara in the living room.  "Do you need any help?" she asked.  

 

"I think we could still use some glasses and napkins on the table."

 

"I just folded a bunch of those new cloth napkins, I'll go get them," Alex said as she pointed in the direction of the laundry.

 

"And I'll get the glasses," J'onn spoke up.  "Wine?"

 

And this home life was something that Alex realized she'd been missing.  The family togetherness.  The ease of it.  Most of all, the peace.  It had all taken them some time to work on, but now it was the easiest thing in the world for them.  

 

Returning, she started to set the napkins out at each place setting.  "Also, Vasquez was asking today if we're ever going to do a housewarming slash official baby shower or baby homecoming...I think which was followed by an AKA it's about damn time Cadmus stop hunting Danvers."  She looked over to see her mother just blinking.  Alex shrugged.  "Her words, not mine."

 

"Maybe we can look at what's open for the pool house building," J'onn said.  "I'm fairly sure I read that you get use of the small kitchen in there as well as the barbeque."

 

"S'mores are my request!" Kara called as she started to move towards them, Amara still in her arms.  

 

"Okay, okay...let's just wait to plan this work barbeque until after dinner," Alex told them.  

 

"I hope you made enough spaghetti...I've definitely worked up an appetite."

 

As they all gathered around the table, taking their seats, Alex couldn't help but beam.  J'onn was trying to convince Kara that he could hold Amara while she ate, but her sister seemed determined to hold tight to her niece.  Her mother poured the wine after setting the pot of pasta on the table.  Alex picked up her glass and held it out.  "Here's to the Danvers...we should come with multiple warning labels…"

 

"Like no one should mess with us."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


The End.

  
  



End file.
